Marlotus Says

Butterfly Lace

2011-03-03T12:41:00.000-08:00

"Butterfly Lace"
Watercolor

I thought I'd fly back here and post something new I just created. Yes, butterflies are always endearing to me and I couldn't resist painting one the other day. I guess I've got Spring Fever. My grand niece wandered into my little studio after I had finished painting this and said "Did you use stencils on this?" I said "no, I just danced with paper and paint. I love comments on my art process, it really helps me grow and makes me look at my art with new eyes.

Actually, Marge Boyd, a fine artist/friend of mine, has a wonderful way of leaving the small whites of the paper showing through and I have admired her talent for this. It's no small feat, in my eyes. Now, it seems I have been able to do the technique myself and I am grateful. Just had to shut off the monkey mind and let the paint dance of its own accord. It seems to give a magical, airy feel to the piece shown here.

Have a wonderful day! Fly high!

I growled while painting Snow Leopard

2011-02-07T12:25:00.000-08:00

"Snow Leopard"
Watercolor

This was a test of perseverance. In spite of, or maybe because of the external noise of
people (especially little) all around my environment, I was able to complete this piece in one sitting. Many times as I was creating, the little ones would peek into my room and
comment on what I was doing. I'd lose my focus and then pick up the paintbrush
and get my artistic center back on course.

I feel my affinity for Native American cultures was coming through as I painted "war paint"
under the creature's eyes. Yes, it was a battle of sorts and my warrior woman self won out in the end.

I was growling throughout much of this creation, but by the end that changed to
purring. Yes, I do believe in the art process.

Swan Celebration

2011-02-02T09:59:00.000-08:00

"Swan Celebration"
Watercolor

I was originally going to paint the swan in delicate pastel shades of color and leave lots of
white on the swan. But something else seemed to control my hands and brush and hey, why fight it. Accidental drips were incorporated into the image as were specks of paint flicked on. It was a big image so I had to scan it in in pieces. Then with some photoshop paint tools I filled in the blanks in the background.

An image celebrating the energy and passion of creativity. No peaceful swan floating for me.

Elephant in Pen and Ink

2011-01-28T08:57:00.000-08:00

"Elephant"
Pen and Ink, Pencil, Charcoal

I wanted to try something different without using color. That's how "Elephant" came into being. I could have put every single wrinkle on the beast but ran out of steam. The legs, too, are just vague shapes. I've read that leaving out details allows the viewer to fill in what they want to. I was going to add sepia and other tones with colored pencils but decided to leave well enough alone. Perhaps another sketch will allow for that. Still, there's something about drawing that allows for expression different from painting.

I've been stretching my creative boundaries by choosing new subjects to paint and/or draw! And they have to mean something to me. Oh and throw in some fun too....

"Cat Heart"

2011-01-27T09:29:00.000-08:00

"Cat Heart"
Digital Photo

I was wondering around the outskirts of Peoria a few weeks ago and happened upon a Christmas Tree farm where there are reindeer lounging in a barn area and a neat shop with unique gifts. I noticed this little kitty wandering around outside. Luckily, I had my camera and started taking photo after photo. Soon she began chasing her tail and this "heart" shape emerged. I remember Elena taking photos of "heart" images and immediately thought of her.

Open up all your senses and the world sends you love. Thank you kitty! An early Valentine gift!

I'm painting a SunHawk!

2011-01-25T13:41:00.000-08:00

"Hawk"
Watercolor

I really like hawks, falcons and eagles. I feel it's important to paint what I can emotionally connect to. That's where I'm at lately when I'm picking subjects to interpret on my art papers.
I also know that these birds love to fly really high into the sky, to the sun almost. To me there's a spiritual connotation symbolized with the higher levels of life too.

Of course, it may have something to do with the fact that my alter eg0 name is SunHawk!!

Peace!

Racoon

2011-01-20T12:51:00.000-08:00

"Raccoon"
Watercolor

Just painted this critter yesterday. I've never created a raccoon before and a lady whose bought some of my work in the past mentioned she might like one for her walls. So, with that motivation, Raccoon came to life. Being the colorist that I am, it was a challenge to hold back on using every paint color that I have. I couldn't resist adding a bit of pink and yellow though, just for funsies. Hard to break the habit, gotta go slow.

Maybe its eyes are too dark? Right now I'll live with it!

"Another Owl Expresses My Feelings"

2010-12-18T13:48:00.000-08:00

"Owl In Flight"
Watercolor

Just found out that a friend of mine (from writing class at the Center) passed away the day before Thanksgiving. I hadn't even known she was sick. But I am grateful to have gotten to know her as a writer and a kindred spirit. Though she wasn't in the class all that long, her writings were personal and I felt I got to know her on a deep level as a result.

It's interesting how one's creative work can reflect our feelings. I was feeling rather angry at first about her passing and painted a crocodile. The colors were rather dark but the teeth were glowing and formed a smile. Strange, it seemed my friend's spirit was coming through in the teeth. Make sense? She had fought a long cancer battle but was now at rest and in peace. So several emotions seemed to be fighting with each other.
Then soon after, I painted the owl pictured above. Yes, this is my friend who has soared to the Heavens. I have accepted this now. The lines all around her are the energy lines connecting us to each other. Yes, she has left this Earth, but her spirit lives on in my heart.

Once again, when words fail me, creativity becomes my voice!

"Who Am I"

2010-12-16T09:21:00.000-08:00

"Owl"
Watercolor

Who am I? Seem to be asking myself that alot lately. I know I find myself "loving" to create more and more every day. Allowing myself that joy to fill me from head to toe. And I felt a child-like spirit arise from within as I created "Owl". He/she kind of reminds me of one of those roly-poly toys that you can roll across the floor. No feet required on this little bird. I thought about adding them but Owl said "no, I'm fine as I am". Wise bird, indeed!

Precious Moments I Can Sketch!

2010-12-10T07:41:00.000-08:00

"Reflecting"
Pen and Ink

My sister-in-law has lots of Christmas knick knacks lying around her house, perfect for someone who may need a little inspiration to create. As warm-ups, I sketched (in pen and ink) a toy penguin that glowed in different colors and a white reindeer sitting on a table. I could have been content with these two items, but then my eyes noticed 4 Precious Moments Christmas figurines ready to be put into a nativity scene. As they weren't in their final resting place yet, I felt the urge to sketch them. Once I get into that creative mode, I can't stop, thank goodness. The expression on this particular one resonated with me personally. Taking quiet time, during such a busy holiday, is necessary. The distractions away from one's heart can be detrimental. Energy can deplete quickly, leaving me crabby and off my center. Creative time, though, is a wonderful balancing tool.

I'm thankful for the small sketch pad and pen and ink that I had handy. Sometimes the more elaborate mediums just take away from the moment. Every Moment is Precious! Thank you for the reminder, Precious Moments Girl.....

Peace!

"Holiday Energy"

2010-12-05T10:16:00.000-08:00

"Holiday Energy"
Watercolor
December 2010

Interesting how the holidays are inspiring my creativity. I painted the Christmas tree first and then added the window and present as an afterthought. Some spatters of paint with a toothbrush added to the festive scene. I feel this is an indoor/outdoor scene merging together. Everyone and everything is welcome to celebrate.

The Power Of Touch

2010-11-08T14:01:00.000-08:00

"The Power of Touch"
Digital Photo

Though I'm not a great fan of reptiles, I found this particular image rather captivating. I probably took about 50 photos of this rather large snake before capturing the one depicted above. The long line of children waiting to touch this "tame" creature made it the most popular exhibit at a recent nature event. Its little forked tongue went in and out during each petting, sometimes touching softly the hand caressing it, which didn't seem to phase the kiddies in the least.

Touch is a very powerful element and very sensual too. Even the texture of the cold-bloodeds can bring tingling excitement to those who venture into its realm. I need to push myself beyond my safe limits of the known and embrace the adventurous in life. Like this small child did. Unafraid, uninhibited, developing a kinship with those who share the world with us. Making a difference and leaving an impact, even if it seems relatively insignificant. There is, after all, the ripple affect, which can gain momentum in anything we do.

Let the Wild Snake Woman out!

Autumn In A Vase

2010-11-03T14:50:00.000-07:00

"Autumn In A Vase"
Digital Photo

Sometimes I really like black and white images, especially when there are shadows involved. It gives a sense of mystery. I had placed a few Fall leaves into a small vase and set it on a table. It just seemed the leaves and vase wanted to be buddies. The early morning sun streaming in through the windows created some intriguing effects, giving the image an abstract feel. There appears to be a hint of red emanating from one of the leaves and extending downward into the vase, which is a nice focal point to lead the eye into the image. A bit of contrast can be a good thing. So I'm grateful for leaves and sunshine and for a potter's creation. All merging to make something new.

It's amazing what Autumn can do for the creative soul. I am thankful this Season is jump-starting me. Keep on falling, leaves......

Drawing My Hands, Personal Revealing

2010-10-05T07:17:00.000-07:00

"My Hand - Various Poses"

charcoal pencil on sketch paper

I've been cleaning out my studio, tossing out old creations that don't have much meaning to me anymore. Whatever meaning means, so many levels to that word. Then I found the above drawing in a sketch book and felt an emotional connection oozing out. Aha, meaning! My hands, posed in different ways, all on one piece of paper. Each pose seeming to convey a different message. Artist hands here without the paint remnants under the nails. Nails on this particular day so smooth and well-tended. If I painted or drew my hands now, I know there would be changes. Hands more natural, not so perfectly groomed, perhaps with a few more wrinkle lines drawn in. But no matter how they looked now, I would be content. It's like our aging process, where we say we're proud of every grey hair. We've earned it. So too with other parts of our body. But isn't that what it's all about? To accept changes in all aspects of our life and not resist them. And let the spiritual self, the soul come forward and say "it really doesn't matter. I'll always be with you no matter what happens to the physical self, that outer shell. And then I know that that particular inner voice, which is soft yet authentic, will help me to embrace the cycles of life and see it as an adventure, a learning experience. It made me appreciate my hands even more yesterday as I processed the feelings stirred up. Though it's always fun and intriguing to paint and draw others who pose for us, there is something very personal about recreating images of the whole form or pieces of who we are. And there's something about charcoal pencil, in its stark black and white and shades of grey in between that somehow feels more expressive, at least in this particular image. For that, I am grateful for all the mediums we have at our disposal. They can make a difference in what message we want to convey.

I feel strength coming from this drawing and I take the feeling within myself and breathe it in. Somehow, the extra energy gained will help me as I continue to clean and simplify my domain. I am grateful for the art process for it does sustain me. Even old creations from long ago still have that power to trigger something within me. Does creativity evoke power in you and allow transformation to take place? I invite you to share if you so desire.

Oh and to my art teacher, Dorothy, who I hope is smiling down from the heavens above, I pay you homage here today with one of the drawings I created in your class.... Thank you......

freezing buns off, but heart was warm

2010-10-03T10:38:00.000-07:00

Art fairs are challenging. On the positive side, they are each so unique that one can never get bored. Even being in the same fair year after year is never predictable. The people who exhibit, the people who come to look at one's art, and the weather Gods all change, even if it's just slightly.

Yesterday's art fair had its own logistics to deal with. Six of the exhibitors were on one side of the road (next to Aldi's). The rest of us (the other 5) were on the Jewel side (across the street). There was very little foot traffic as the day wore on. Would it have made any difference if all the exhibitors were on the same side of the street? Hard to say. As it was, the weather was blustery, cold and there were sprinkles off and on (Hey, at least it wasn't snow).

I did sell two small prints to a mother and daughter who enjoyed listening to me describe my art technique. They asked if I'd always been so talented. I said I'd drawn in high school but had drifted off the art path into the business road. In the last three years or so, I've been reborn into the art side of me again. The daughter is an aspiring artist who I encouraged to keep creating. She smiled at me gratefully and seemed more upbeat about her own artistic path. The next onlooker who came by was a young woman, very pregnant, who was expecting her new baby boy in about a month or so. The wind blew some of my prints off the table and she awkwardly yet still skillfully, reached down to pick some of them up. I was amazed at her agility. She liked one of my prints, but didn't have the cash or check on her at the moment. She asked "could I take a photo with my camera phone and show it to my husband? Maybe then I'll come back later with money and buy the print?" I gave her the okay on that but she never came back.

Well, maybe she did come back but we shut down shop around 3:30 or so. All of us on the Jewel side pretty much gave up. Our hands were frozen, our cheeks were frostbit (or so it seemed) and we were tired of our tents being like sails on the sea.Really, outdoor art fairs in October is pushing it. Shoppers coming out of Jewel just seemed to be focused on getting to their cars and not being blown away. Makes sense to me. After dismantling our tent, Frank and I then went across the street to the Aldi side and helped a friend of ours take her tent down. She expressed gratitude. Helping others, whether physically, emotionally or spiritually, always makes my heart happy.

I had no expectations about the fair at all. I just wanted to push myself, exhibit in a new location and keep on getting myself out there. I made a few new friends, got to see the new art center with some wonderful art on display and breathed in some fresh air as well. Another adventure under my belt.

One day at a time.......

my artwork is hard to toss out

2010-10-02T16:37:00.000-07:00

I often wonder at those situations say when a house is burning down and a person has time to get out one or two things. Lots of people say they'd take photos.
Well, my place is not burning down but I am getting rid of lots of things, simplifying for the next abode we go to. Books are precious to me but I have so many. So I'm donating them to my library, which I dearly love to go to. They'll be happy there. Now mind you, I haven't let go of all of my art books. Books on Monet, Matisse, Georgia O'Keefe and several others of my favorites still line my bookshelves, for now anyway.
Clothes, well, clothes fill up my closet and they're outdated, I've outgrown them so time to discard everything but what feels "real" to who I am now. That can be a challenge as I wear many different hats. Don't know about the business side of me, that voice is quite small inside of me. So I'm donating most of them.
Now we come to art. This a tough area to focus on. I have original paintings unmatted, unframed in portfolio cases, I have a number of totes filled with framed pieces and I have lots of prints which I usually sell at art fairs.
Today I was in an art fair and sold two prints. Frank says to the people who wander by "everything must go, make an offer" and people laugh and smile. But he is serious. I have just started selling my originals and put price tags of $600.00 on them. Hm, guess I didn't want to sell them. But now in the last week or so, the price on them is $100.00 and less. Am I dismissing my artistic abilities? I don't think so. I'm just trying to make some money so I can pay bills, continue to make art and just generally stay positive.

Just curious, would you all have the same dilemma as myself if you were in this situation? How would you cope?

"Angels Amongst Us"

2010-09-30T07:25:00.000-07:00

"Angels Among Us"

Watercolor

I was at a resume writing workshop last night at our local library. During a break, a woman who had attended the same college as myself and knew many of the same professors, struck up a conversation. When I told her I liked to paint, she said "that she knew I was an artist, don't take this the wrong way, but you look like an artist." I took her words in, thanked her and later mulled on what she had said.

Yes, I was wearing jeans, a sweatshirt and some beady necklaces last night, so physically I might have looked the artist part. But this woman also said she "felt" I was an artist, she could feel it coming from me. And I realize as I accept myself more, it becomes evident to others as well.

This is a good thing because as I learn to write resumes, apply for jobs and go to job fairs, I wonder if the art side of me disappears for awhile so I can be this "job seeker", this adult.But why do we have to shift to this adult role? Why can't we be childlike in everything we do, looking at all of life with wonder-filled eyes? Something I'm trying to incorporate into my daily life. No, the child sense of me can still be there; it does not have to take a time-out and disappear for awhile so the adult me can take over. My adult/parent self takes my child self's hand and we walk together moment by moment no matter what we are doing. Not abandoning one another, not thinking less of the others but realizing these are all vital parts of my whole self. Loving myself, that's Number 1, of course.

I do believe in angels and feel their presence in the human forms around me, like the lady last night. And then I remember another woman, recently, at an employment office, who said to Frank, don't be so hard on her, when I was filling out some documents and got frazzled. I looked at her gratefully and gave her a hug. Another angel. And of course all of you who continue to support and sustain me and check in with me, well you're all angels too.

These "spiritual" presences help me as I continue on my path. To not waver, to stay true to myself and put one foot in front of another. And of course, my heart is a beacon of light showing me the way as well. I am never alone and this is reassuring.

The Spiritual, Knocking on My Blog Door

2010-09-26T07:04:00.000-07:00

"Dragonfly"

Watercolor

I've been in a state of crisis lately. That seems harsh, let's call it inevitable change. During these times, I want to fly far away into the sky, like the dragonfly. It's as if the spirit is knocking me on the head and saying "Wake Up and Listen To Me". I peer at the dragonfly and note it's little hands almost in prayer position. Hm, perhaps the spirit "is" making its presence known in my artwork as well. If nothing else, this is reassuring and I don't feel so alone during these dark nights of of the soul.

As I become more aware, less in that "asleep" state, I notice stronger signs of the spirit in Frank's blog "7 Miracles" and in Elena's "My Quest" blog. The blogs of Doris and Laura have shown how the spirit can be found in nature. And there are other blogs, many more, that I read and which sustain me on my journey. Each of these fellow bloggers seem to be in a state of evolution, searching for a deeper connectedness, and I feel I am joining them. Their words give me hope and comfort and I feel peace after I leave their sites. I feel my blog will be taking a new turn and, as a result, reflect on my daily moods and process, wherever that will lead. I am grateful for the internet, which gives me a sense of interconnectedness when I'm feeling so disconnected within myself. If I give it time, the disconnect leaves and I am then one with myself. Patience.....

When I feel loss of energy as I face the external forces outside of me, I know this is a sign to go within myself, to refresh and replenish my soul. I find myself meditating and praying and reading inspirational/spiritual books as a daily/sometimes hourly practice. These offer me peace and respite, soothing me into calmer waters. Well, my artmaking soothes me too, of course. But the healing vibes are not always there. Sure, I go into that zone which to me is a place of nothingness, but now I really want to "feel" the passion when I create. Maybe working on bigger canvases like Elena is doing will help me. To let the brush dance on bigger dimensions. To play. Ultimately, to soar high, to dance with the angels.

I danced with an angel (young artist) yesterday at the Autumn Fest. She made a card depicting a pumpkin patch. I guided her along, but she did the actual creating on the paper. It felt good, different, hopeful My heart felt blissful, seeing her glowing eyes, sharing the connection of art. She was intrigued by my artwork, and then stated that she wanted to be an artist too someday. This made my heart sing, to touch others in this way. Then I thought of a friend's comment "I would just burst out crying with happiness if someone said they loved my art". Her words jolted me for a minute and made me wonder if I had lost some of that deep joy that happens when I hear positive words. Am I taking this aspect of art and sharing for granted? Hm....

I am realizing that natural settings help me in my process. Not an office, not a classroom do I need at this moment anyway. To heal, to create, to guide others seems to work best for me when things are unstructured, when daily occurrences just happen without preconceived expectations. I feel less stress, less pressure. When life is just flowing. And perhaps just continuing to do other spiritual practices will jumpstart me as I dive deeper into my heart. Then I won't have to be squeezing my art to death, looking for clues in my creations that my spirit/heart is emerging. It's an evolution and in due time, with patience, I hope that love will overcome the fear and my heart will open wide to art, and my spirit, without inhibitions.

I feel this continues to be an ongoing process, but now recognize the need to share more deeply of it here on this blog. I can ask questions of others and observe how they walk their path in life (through blogs, for example) and that helps, taking bits and pieces of what resonates with me and filtering them through my own personal perceptions. But ultimately, in the end, it's up to me.

Landscape from my Childhood

2010-09-08T14:38:00.000-07:00

"Landscape From My Childhood"

Digital Art

I found an "old" watercolor abstract painting I had done many years ago. Then I decided to incorporate the balloon photo. This is a partial photo taken from a young clown boy's waist where he had all these balloons attached. Soon he was blowing up the most magical animal critters and fantasy things you had ever seen. I was blown away and totally delighted. The faces of those watching was priceless. Well, anyway back to the image. I added some squiggles and drips via photoshop paint tools to tie the two images together.

Once a child, always a child. I never want to lose that in myself!

Peacock Pose

2010-08-27T16:27:00.000-07:00

"Peacock Pose"

Watercolor

A recent painting I did. I rather overworked the colors at times to get the darker tones. Watercolor can be so light and transparent it is often necessary to heap layers of color on top of each other. I could have added the tail and all the "eyes", but sometimes less is more and I just wanted to stay focused on the face and upper body.

The background was created by flicking big and small drops of color onto the paper. The peacock has a strength about her. I was feeling low energy right before I painted this and then somehow got some strength flowing through me during and after I was done painting.

Ah, the wonders of painting. My lifeblood!

She Seemed In a Dreamy Mood

2010-08-11T13:54:00.000-07:00

"She Seemed in A Dreamy Mood"

Watercolor, Pencil

I'm dusting off the cobwebs of my blog today. It's been awhile, guess I was taking a timeout without really telling anyone that I was.

Sketched the young lady above in pencil and then decided to add some watercolor to her. She had dark hair and a black outfit on so the color was crying to me.

I liked her pose, she seemed gentle and reserved. Like someone from Medieval times or the Impressionistic Period. There were seven of us sketching her. At first I felt intimidated by all the other artists and the close quarters. I found myself glancing at the other artist sketches and feeling mine wasn't good enough. After realizing that my ego was trying to wreck havoc with my creative time, I opened my artistic heart and it was just myself and the model.

Amazing the lessons I learn about myself. A lifelong education.

"Originally A Cat"

2010-07-18T13:21:00.000-07:00

"Originally A Cat"

Watercolor, Acrylics, Gesso

I guess I'm trying to figure out who I am as an artist. I keep evolving and changing at a rather rapid pace these days. I long for those days long ago when I consistently cranked out work in my one style. (Thought I had it down pat, but little did I know). Yet, face it, I know I would be bored if I used the same materials, same precise paint strokes, same colors, etc. etc.

So the Cat above is mimicking me, not sure who it is either. A little bit of this or a little bit of that. What fits its mood. A cat face, bird wings and a devil's tail, so to speak. I was in a rather dark emotional mood yesterday. Perhaps that accounts for the devil tail. Also, the paint strokes seem more expressive to me, which is an indication of my feelings erupting in my creative state. The eyes were added using some metallic paint and a little gesso to give them a glassy feel. The gesso on the body allowed for highlights.

I'm painting creatures that are more out of this world these days. Guess that's how I'm feeling, out of this world and into my painting zone......I seem to be tapping into some hidden realms within myself that are begging to be expressed.

Red Fox emerges at Sunday art fair!

2010-07-12T14:10:00.000-07:00

"Red Fox"

Watercolor

Just wanted to chat a bit about my day at The Fields Art in the Garden fair yesterday. I decided at the last minute to exhibit and thought "What else am I going to do on a Sunday besides read the paper and loll around? A rather low crowd turnout and lack of publicity seemed to factor in. Thorough marketing of these events really makes a difference. There was an ad in a local paper advertising The Field's 40% off on daylilies but nothing about the art fair. Guess that was up to the art league to promote. I didn't get postcards to pass out as I was a last minute but wondered if it would have made a difference. Art fairs can be an iffy chance one takes, like gambling.

Still, when I got there I was in spot #23, I was the 23rd exhibitor and my birthday is the 23rd so the numerology and universal signs seemed to be falling into place positively. Though I did move to spot #25 due to the more dominant shade opportunities offered. Sometimes, life (weather) throws you these curves.

I painted the fox above while I was sitting at my booth. Jamie Sams from Medicine cards says the fox represents the ability to meld into one's surroundings and be unnoticed. ....Hm! Sitting there painting I tuned out the world and painted my critter. Not so conducive when I "should" be interacting with public. And the tie-dye t-shirt I was wearing did not allow me to meld into my environment, that's for sure. A double-edged sword. Fox symbolism relevant or not, no sales were evoked (while I was in my silent, crabby mood) until I started chatting and being friendlier and more interactive. A fine line though because you don't want to be too pushy! I felt better myself to tell you the truth to socialize, though I was glad I got a finished painting done too.

It's very hard work setting up and taking down a tent. Even with Frank there. The Plainfield Art League people came around and helped us with some of the physical labor. That was very nice. Also, a member offered to give me a break. I really like the members of this art league. They are friendly and seem to work as a team. Even though I don't belong, I'd consider joining if it wasn't so far West. An excuse, maybe?

I met some really interesting people on Sunday and the conversations didn't revolve around art at times. Still, it's all about connecting as human beings in whatever shape or form, in my opinion. Today I'm a bit sore and am laying low and reflecting by writing here. And wondering if I am artist, a healer, a writer or just me. I like me because sometimes labels restrict me too much.

Until we meet again!

Sometimes I Purr, Sometimes I Growl

2010-06-29T11:55:00.000-07:00

"Sometimes I Purr, Sometimes I Growl"

Watercolor

Going through the after art fair blahs. Wonder if I'd paint again without that "art fair" motivation. No fears, I painted two images today, including the one above. I'm feeling a little pissy and though my intentions were to make a nice little purring kitty, a rather "fierce" looking one emerged instead. Or so I think. The eyes I started painting were rather tranquil but then some sudden anger became to flow through me. Keeping that emotion going, I reached for some red and yellow paints and began to scatter and scrub the paint willy nilly all around the body and background.

I didn't think I'd finish the image because then I started feeling depressed and what's the use began to fill my brain. Always painting birds, I muttered. Can't I step out of my comfort box and paint something else. I am bored and on and on my head filled with thoughts. No, this is not a bird, true, but birds were my initial project to paint this morning.

So how did I feel after I painted the kitty above? Kind of empty. I suppose that means I released some emotions. Still, what does the future hold for all my birdies and kitties? I'm pondering again, darn that ego.

art fair and painted a baby peacock

2010-06-27T09:43:00.000-07:00

"Baby Peacock"

Watercolor

Hm, don't know why black line is popping up to the right of the image. I'll let it be for now, just wanted to share. It's been awhile since I've posted here. Need to dust off the cobwebs and write a little bit here.

Painted this bird while I was at an art fair yesterday. The tail I concentrated on using little water and more of a drybrush style. Someone commented that it had a peacock tail so voila it became a baby peacock. I felt meditative while painting this yesterday. I wouldn't have painted at all (it was hot!) but for the encouragement of my husband. He "knows" me, for sure. People looked over my shoulder, little kids stood pointing at my various paintings displayed and cackled with delight as they named each animal or bird. Highlight of my day, or one of them. Fun, that was, for sure! And I got a new painting created too. Win, win situation!

Light crowd. Maybe due to limited advertising, that the Taste of Chicago was going on or that the Cubs and White Sox were playing each other. I was okay with this, it was the first time I had participated in this fair, a new adventure. Though there weren't all that many people, it allowed me to strike up some personal conversations with a number of them and answer their questions about how I paint.More people inquired if I teach. I think the Universe is really trying to tell me something here. It was certainly nice to go inside the gallery off and on to cool down. And see more of the artwork hanging inside. Lots of people inside the gallery, so that's where they were!

I'm sunburned today, yet the sun has some good Vitamin D, so I need to look on the bright side. Feels good to write here again today and get some thoughts down.

King Cobra, not so menacing

2010-06-06T10:21:00.000-07:00

"King Cobra"
Watercolor

It's been awhile since I've posted anything here on my blog. Almost a month. Hm, how time flies. Perhaps, like this snake above here, I am merely shedding my skin and getting used to the newly formed one that now adorns me. And needed some time away from here to quietly process this. Yet, I feel I am constantly shedding my skin, almost every day (this is not a one-time occurrence) and am surprised by who emerges when I wake up. I do not attempt to paste the discard skin back on myself but let it shrivel and melt away. Letting go, no second thoughts, no regrets.
And like the Kundalini energy that arises within me, like a snake, my inner creative self is constantly awakening, evolving, going from reality to dream state and back again. Cyclic.
Perhaps this is what living in the now is like, having no expectations of what others think. Having no expectations of what the day holds. Allowing whoever I am at each moment to just unfold. Letting my moods honestly come forth. And letting snakes crawl out on my canvas. This is not a scary thing, I feel, but just letting all the dark and light of my inner emotions come out into the world. Not worrying what others might think, but doing my art because it is just me.
I look at the reptiles I've been creating lately and feel their masculine strength, not their menacing presence. Yes, the birdies I create are usually rather soft and cuddly. Feminine. Yet all the paintings, no matter what their emotional feel, reside on my studio walls, together, not separate. In harmony. Once again, it's about balance, for me anyway.

Turtle Prayer

2010-05-11T09:08:00.000-07:00

"Turtle Prayer"
Watercolor

"And the turtles, of course...
All the turtles are free-
As turtles and, maybe, all
creatures should be."
- Dr. Seuss -

I've been thinking about all that environmental destruction down in the Gulf area. Though I cannot be down to physically help, perhaps I can create a painting with intention and prayers. Yes, we as creative beings, can make a difference. This turtle is sending healing energy down to his Gulf brothers, sisters, and all creatures who reside in the Ocean and outside of it.

Perhaps I'll work more on the turtle's background in time. I notice that the paper has dark shadows above the creature. This came about unintentionally as I scanned it into my computer. For now, I rather like that effect. And, so I leave this creation now, hoping that turtle prayer will be heard across the miles......Hm, maybe being an environmental artist would be fulfilling.....

Sailing

2010-05-07T08:56:00.000-07:00

"Sailing"
Watercolor

I love painting birds and butterflies, but sometimes I need a change of pace. I guess I wanted to try a more realistic piece here. The reflections always challenging, the horizon line a bit uneven. Even looks like shark fins to the left though they are the rudders from the motors in reality. The boys don't look too concerned, do they?

All in all, though, I had fun. It's on a small piece of watercolor paper, maybe 3" x 6" or so. I asked the photographer who took the image whether the blue in the sail was the ocean coming through or was it the sail color. He said it was the ocean as he saw waves. I thought "oh well" after I had already painted it as the sail canvas. Tried to keep the sail color a bit different from the water background to distinguish it. The little folk have an impressionistic feel about them as I've read we don't always have to put in every little detail. My husband, after seeing this creation, thought it was a little too realistic. He's used to my fantasy pieces where I put in every color of the rainbow, no matter what. Oh well, as I said earlier here, a change of pace needed!

I'm reading "Gifts from the Sea" with an on-line artist way group. So yes, there are many gifts from the sea.Not just the shells and stones that come washed up on shore. This sailboat, to me, is a gift. To float on water, how heavenly is that?

Why am I suddenly longing for a road trip to Chicago and Lake Michigan to see the boats? May have to fulfill that desire!

Window at Montego Bay

2010-05-03T12:38:00.000-07:00

"Window at Montego Bay"
Watercolor and Gouache

Sometimes I need the inspiration of others as a jumping off point to my own creativity. A good creative writing friend of mine just got back from Montego Bay. Originally, he was supposed to go to Amsterdam, but a certain volcano got in the way of his plans. But he settled for Jamaica (not a bad second choice) and took some wonderful photos. He was kind enough to share a few with me and the window photo just blew me away.
Initially, I got out my watercolors and started painting onto a long strip of paper. The vertical dimension seemed to suit the window just fine. I noticed in the photo some interesting touches of white and decided to add some white gouache to mimic that effect on the image above. I also experimented with some other gouache colors, liking their opaque effect. It's a little darker and more colorful than the original photo, but that's okay. I could only follow where my brush was leading me.

I had fun experimenting with the two mediums. And I've always been attracted to doors and windows anyway. I've been tapping into my inner self lately, opening up some entrances that have been hiding, dusty with disuse. So there's much personal symbolism going on too!

Have a wonderful happy, creative day!

"Flower Dance"

2010-04-18T07:48:00.000-07:00

"Flower Dance"
Watercolor

I've been gaining momentum regarding my painting process. Sometimes I can paint two things in one day. I am finding I am painting quicker now, not thinking so much. The image above was painted on a small rectangular left-over scrap of paper. I didn't tape it down onto a board so the paper buckled just a tad. Oh well, in my anxiousness to get going, I sometimes leave out "rules" regarding how to paint in watercolor. Rules stifle my free-flowing creative process anyway. And I see one of the flowers going off the edge as I look at it now. Oh well, I've always been one to move things off the edges, these flowers are dancing and don't want to be held prisoner within the page. Like me, who wants to keep pushing the envelope, taking chances.

It was night time when I painted this. The world was quiet, the cool winds were blowing and then a tiny bug walked into one of the flower's centers. The environment was so peaceful I swear I heard his little foots making their way across the watercolor paper. I'd like to think he saw two real flowers on my studio table and just wanted to sniff their perfume and give me his seal of approval. So I'm happy in my own little fantasy world.

And then my brain the next day says "you're running out of things to paint, oh no!!!"
An excuse, who knows? Am I sabotaging my creative process? Probably! I have about 400 photos of flowers, etc I took still on my camera so no sweat! Time to download them. Then I'll probably be overwhelmed by all the choices. Is this my resistance voice coming through?Yet, I'm finding this resistance part not so loud these days. Maybe because my energy is low I do not have that "fight" to resist.Yet, when I'm painting my reserve strength comes through. Ah, the passion beckons me then and any tiredness is washed away, a distant memory. It's magic!

Anyway, back to my painting process. I'm painting the originals brighter now. This will alleviate me having to pump up the color slightly on the computer. In the past, I've had a light hand with watercolors, using too much water with the paints. This can dull the color. Less water now = stronger colors. So, two changes in myself. Painting stronger, brighter colors and painting at a quicker pace. And still another change. I am going to start framing the originals now. I don't think people like prints that are framed, though many have faithfully bought them in the past. I put some originals into a portfolio and lo and behold threw out some of my artistic creations that didn't appeal to me. I have never done that before! Wasn't easy, memories came up associated with that particular time in my life when I created a particular image. Positive/negative emotions came up. Processed them, let them go. All part of the overhaul cleaning process I am undertaking. Both internally and externally. Nothing is sacred anymore be it old drawings, business suits hanging like antiques in my closet, or whatever else I'm clinging to. I'm going the simple way, monk-like, buddhist-like, eating rice, drinking tea, meditating. That's my goal anyway, my soul feels lighter, baby steps to get there.

So that's where I'm at. Can't brood anymore, action is so much more effective really. Still, my imagination rears its head again. I'm wondering if that little bug is making watercolor footprints on his trek out into the world. Ah we're all artists, aren't we, longing to make our mark somewhere.......

Spread Your Wings, Oh Butterfly

2010-04-13T11:07:00.000-07:00

"Spread Your Wings, Oh Butterfly"
Watercolor

For about the last 6 months, maybe more, I've been in a cocoon. Not bad sometimes, but detrimental when you don't want to face the world. Which is where I've been. On the other hand, it can be good to be in a cocoon especially as an artist because there's lots of ideas to be tapped into within the self. And quiet, alone time is necessary. To incubate, process, reflect. And now as I am aware of where I'm at now, I realize how low my energy is. Supreme effort to paint. Yet, the good news is.....

For the last week or so, I've been painting almost every morning for at least an hour. An antelope, a dolphin flying the air, a lion and now the butterfly here. Focus and determination really has to be my support now, for much of the energy I have lately has been going to cleaning, throwing away, looking for a job (not necessarily in that order). But I realize I need to take some of that precious energy (which is really pretty darn low lately) and devote some of it to my creative life. It is my therapy, my lifeblood and many other things words cannot describe.

When I was painting the butterfly, I started reflecting on a workshop I took many years ago when I lived in Florida. It was a chinese brush painting class and we painted lots of butterflies in that class. I think hints of those techniques came through as a created the creature above. The butterfly floats, I float the paint and twirl the brush like a dance. Also, there's elements of stained glass effects in the watercolor, spiritual symbolism.
I have to keep going, one moment at a time, facing each project, all aspects of what needs to be done. But I know I am saving/and or reviving the life of my heart and soul when I paint, And for those reasons, gotta paint.....

"Wild Mustang"

2010-04-05T12:48:00.000-07:00

"Wild Mustang"
Watercolor and gesso

I guess I'm in an animal spirit/animal totem kind of place lately. Finding the meaning of animals and their connection to my personal life makes everything more connected. And I feel more one with the world. Jamie Sams says that "horse is physical power and unearthly power. In shamanic practices throughout the world, Horse enables shamans to fly through the air and reach heaven"....and that "true power is wisdom found in remembering your total journey. Compassion, caring, teaching, loving, and sharing your gifts, talents, and abilities are the gateways to power". Wow, some pretty deep stuff about the horse which I so love and am taking into my inner self. I think I'll share some more images and attach Jamie's words from the Medicine Cards book because it just feels right for me right now.

Now back to the image above and its creation. I like to make my animals more dreamy and less realistic so they're coming from the spirit world, right? Now I sound like I'm justifying myself. Just go with the flow..... Anyway, I scanned mustang in and some areas of the body got cropped off, like most of the tail. So I decided to crop the tail off entirely (hope it didn't hurt, horse buddy) and then eliminated some of the bottom area of the back legs. They didn't seem proportionally right anyway, oh that darn monkey mind chattering in my ear again. Now wait, this is a dream spirit animal (yes, Jamie I hear you in my other ear) so quiet down you darn chimp! Anyway, the front legs have more force and they're kicking up nice and strong so I wanted to emphasize them cuz he's/she's A Power Animal so flail away.

The sky background was originally an experimental piece on how to make skies using watercolor and lots of water. I decided then to add the mustang to it. So yes, I took an old piece collecting dust, and added some more life to it. Wild horses can't keep me down when I'm painting at times and even though I'm feeling some anxiety about life in general, I am taking the anxiety and painting with it. Many times today I wanted to stop and say forget it. but I persevered.

In the last few days I have painted a lion, an orange bird, the wild mustang and just now a great blue heron. All animal spirits who seem to have the power to alleviate some of my turbulent feelings that otherwise could build up and wreck havoc on me.

Thanks, Jamie Sams, for writing some great books on animal medicine. They're a good jumping off point for me in my creative process. Thanks, Judy, for suggesting me get the book "Dancing the Dream" by Jamie Sams. Just ordered it from library. And, Elena, I thought of you today as I painted, remembering the exquisite horse images you created and posted on your blog.

Anyway, I'm off to take a ride on the horse and fly to heaven. Well, maybe just to a higher spiritual plane but I'll be back to continue to share who I truly am becoming. Maybe not quite a shaman yet, but a warrier woman sure sounds good at the very least.

Hoppy Easter

2010-04-04T11:20:00.000-07:00

"Hoppy Easter"
Digital Art Painting

Today my inner child artist wanted to express herself. Playing and painting using the computer fulfilled that need.

I have a birdie painting I did yesterday which is still drying a little bit. Watercolor, gesso and even some crackle paint used to create the feathered friend. Experimenting with different effects was playful too. The key word is Play.....

And now out to enjoy the beautiful day. HOPPY EASTER!

Reflecting on Nature

2010-03-27T09:05:00.000-07:00

"Reflecting on Nature"
Digital Photograph

I've always been a nature person. It is both my refuge and a place for me to recharge myself. When I was younger and life was pretty chaotic, I'd either do something creative or seek a woods where I could lie down on a bed of soft prairie grasses or lean my back against a warm, soothing tree. Both outlets helped preserve my inner soul.

My soul has been filled with yearning lately. Longing for more. For what, I am not sure. And this makes it difficult. All I can do is go with the feelings and see where it leads me. And I am thankful for digital computer tools for it allows me, on some unspoken level, to reflect on my my soul feelings and express it here. I was able to give the above image a more painterly, impressionistic touch with some dreaminess added for good measure. On a deeper level, I was able to enhance my experience, to tell more of a story about why I took the image in the first place. And it is a release, too, of so much more that is indescribable. That is where the spiritual comes in.

I float on the waves, not resisting or hiding in the murky depths below the surface. I reflect on this new state of being and watch it unfold. Happy Earth Day forever and ever......

Spring brings out the dreamy self

2010-03-20T15:29:00.000-07:00

"Sit Down and Have a Cup of Tea"
Digital Photograph

I'm feeling more playful. Maybe because it's Spring. Maybe because I am more willing to let my "child" out. Maybe I'm just tired of the serious side of me that seems such a spoilt sport. Whatever the reason, feeling these younger vibes is a good thing. So I'm going with it.

Today I spent much of the afternoon downloading some photos I've taken over the past week or so. I was going to paint today (still might, there's time) but somehow I actually got engrossed in looking at photos, touching them up a bit and remembering back to the day I took each image. I don't know maybe it's easier to work with photography than paint. I don't have to drag everything out like special brushes, paints, papers and so on. Maybe I'm lazy. I just need to honor wherever I'm at and go with the feeling.

For the most part, an image needs to call to my heart, to mean something to me these days. Maybe there's a piece of me in what I'm looking at. Or it has to be something that makes me look twice, pause, reflect. Oh and light and shadow are nice elements too. Throw these into a pot and voila, I can capture something that captivates me. My boredom alarm goes off if I don't follow this protocol from my heart.

The image above is a table and chair inside the visitor's center. I took this photo through a large window with the reflection of the preserve and lake shining through it, becoming a backdrop. I liked the lights and shadows that were playing off of everything, late afternoon sunlight is good for this effect. Kind of surreal, kind of mysterious, my cup of tea. And it makes you wonder about the people who might have just been sitting there and are now walking around the preserve. Well, it was a beautiful day, so why not?

And then I turned away from the window and saw this young lass gazing off, daydreaming or so it seemed. What was she thinking about, I wondered? The light glinted on her hair in a wonderful way. Her posture was intriguing to me, her hands resting on the rock just so. I liked this image because it's how I felt that day. Dreamy, full of wonder at life. We are mirrors of each other, after all.

"Daydreaming"
Digital Photograph

So thought I'd share a bit of my world this week. The door to my dreamy, playful heart opens a little wider each day. I continue to be amazed at the possibilities that reside in there. And outside, the flowers contiue to bloom too. They bloom, I bloom, all good.

Seagull in Flight

2010-03-13T11:51:00.000-08:00

"Seagull in Flight"
Watercolor on 140 lb cold-pressed paper

Have been in a photo mode lately due to recent photo exhibit. I often struggle a bit to transistion to other mediums after I've been immersed in one for awhile. I did so want to paint, was feeling the urge. Also, I was pondering subject matter. What to paint, what to paint, what has meaning to me? Oh no my inspiration is gone, I'll never create again. Oh oh monkey mind coming in to add to the choir singing in my head. A choir is happy, joyful, spiritual so maybe just say the racket spouting off in the brain.

But birds always seem to call to me and after combing through 1,000's of photos yes 1000's, I found this photo taken last Summer. I was lazilly sitting near a dock basking in the sun, yet with eyes open for something stunning to focus the camera on. Well, after hours had passed, the bird posed for me quite nicely. Outstretched wings, flying in the sky symbolizing myself stretching my wings, embracing changes and soaring to new places. Gotta have personal meaning for me to create too. External image transformed into my heart, alchemy process and voila inspiration unfolds.

The face of the bird started out rather detailed as I began the painting process and then as I got to the feathers I decided to leave a more impressionistic feel to them. Besides, I was starting to get a bit lazy (no, we''ll call it dreamy-in the zone) which sounds more positive to me. The background I left pretty much white except for a few pink thin swirls here and there. I like the illustrative quality that the white background gives to the subject.

Well, the bird looks like he is soaring down but my take on this is that he's already attained some spiritual insight on a higher plane and is now coming back to earth to share his newfound knowledge/gifts with those who are grounded below. Hm, I suppose this sounds a little airy fairy but it feels right to me in my heart. Happy Weekend All!

Butterfly Fantasy

2010-03-11T11:29:00.000-08:00

"Butterfly Fantasy"
Digital Art Painting

I am tired of fighting who I really am. Someone who loves color and fantasy with a touch of spiritual thrown in. Actually, let me revise that. I know what I love but don't always embrace it fully as coming from my heart and accepting it 100%. So "Butterfly Fantasy" celebrates this declaration of me. The image above went through many transformations. First it is was a monarch butterfly photo on a green background, then it became all purple in color via digital tools and finally I just decided to implode the image with all colors of the rainbow. It's also been cropped down a bit to allow the image to be front and center. The butterfly, of course, is symbolic of the transformation process from cocoon to full winged creature. And I join in too, transforming myself. We're really all so inter-connected, every creature on earth and have so many lessons to learn from one another.

And the writing process is no exception. In my last two stories for writing class, I have written about my prints and framed images coming alive, breaking lose from either the walls or baskets they are residing in and erupting in emotion (whether it be positive or negative or a mix of the two). In one story, my photographs duke it out with some "snobbier" photos they are sharing wall space in. This helped me process some feelings I was going through during an actual real-life photo reception last week which I squelched within myself for a few days. Therapeutic release..... In the second story, my prints jump out of a basket and begin rocking and rolling in a New Age shop. Playing tamberines, drums, crystal bowls, and living it up in a very energetic fashion. Through my writing, I am taking inanimate objects and giving them human characteristics. I find this is a very symbolic, transformative process for me. First, it alleviates my boredom as it goes beyond strictly reporting an event. Second, I am able to let out emotions in an observer role. Third, I gain more awareness of myself, and find myself coming alive (partying like my prints, letting energy explode, not holding back) through emotional freeing. A wonderful outlet which sometimes seems subtle to me but really it all adds up over time. This is really opening up my heart and soul. I am not always sure I will become a published author through participating in writing classes, but finding out who I am (and really always was from Day 1) is worth its weight in gold. Writing unlocks mysteries.....Okay, never say never, I might write a book someday about my creative process.

So transformation seems to be my companion lately. And the creative process is allowing inner changes to unfold a little more easily. Stretch your wings, little butterfly. The cocoon is too small to hold you now.

Magnolia blossoms

2010-03-07T15:54:00.000-08:00

"Magnolia Blossoms"
Digital Photo

I'm thinking about Spring. As the rain comes down and the white patches of snow get smaller and smaller, the birds will get louder with their songs. All in good time...... Patience is a word that resonates quite often within me these days. And the following words are recited in order to soothe my emotions, to help me stay in the moment, where happiness and joy reside:

In; out.
Deep; slow.
Calm; ease.
Smile; release.

(Words written by Thich Nhat Hanh -
who is a Vietnamese Zen Buddhist Monk)

Like the flowers that are just beginning to bud now, I am opening myself up to possibilities never before considered. Like putting my photos onto different backings such as canvas or watercolor paper to give a more painterly feel to the image. I might do that with the magnolia blossom. Like walking downtown and talking to shop owners and showing them my artwork. And reading books that teach ways to welcome peace and calm into one's life. All things are being considered in all areas of my life. No stone is being left unturned.

Three Vessels

2010-03-04T11:17:00.000-08:00

"Three Vessels"
Acrylic on Canvas

I find my resistance to looking for a job and trying to make some money seeping into my blog these days. I am not posting almost daily like I used to and find that worry continues to raise its nasty head to me, even restricting my writing here.
But something is breaking through and I am finding my creative passion beginning to conquer those ego fears (just a tad). Writing class and entering the above image into an art league contest yesterday were my saviors.
In writing class, I have a tendency to write fairy tales and fantasies. Usually it's my own life but disguised in a more childlike/imaginative world. I often will tell the class I am always seeking to find myself and that my writing reflects that pursuit. A fellow writer said to me "I hope you never find yourself. Otherwise, you'll just end up writing memoirs like me. Keep writing like you do". Her words gave me food for thought and affirmation.
And then lo and behold I entered the above image (which has a rather surrealistic feel to it) in an art league contest last night and got 3rd place. I had painted the original sometime ago and then a few days ago I touched up the third pot (it had little color before and almost blended into the dark surroundings). I also added turquoise, purple and bronze colors to a previously black background. And then I decided to share it. The members voted and I was quite amazed that they liked this piece. I'm saying this because these are artists who love realism where every detail is precise and artistic rules are followed religiously. But they seem to be thinking more out of the box and the result, for me, was feeling affirmed by more believing eyes.
I guess the best part of all this is that I am not changing my work to suit the needs of others. I am being true to myself more and more and am feeling content. And the ripple effect outward is resonating in a positive way too.
So we'll see what happens. I hope this is the start of more consistant posting and staying more connected to my blogger buddies and visiting them on a regular basis. And maybe I can stomp out resistance in the process one step at a time.

2010-02-26T17:49:00.000-08:00

"Angel Meditation"
Digital Art

The other day in my writing class, one of the ladies said to me, "Let me know when you have found what you are looking for". This was after I had just read still another piece about myself and my journey thus far. Searching, always searching, looking for the meaning of who I really am. Actually, I'm kind of tired of looking for "it". I think "it" has been inside of me all along..... And then another classmate turned to me and said, "I miss your fairy tale stories that you used to write." Hm, do I like to write about my emotional process or would I rather just drift into fantasy land? Whatever the outcome, the process continues and like the angel in quiet repose above, I ponder my purpose here on earth. Ultimately, it's really about love, don't you think, and nothing else matters. I swear I just saw the angel in the above image nod her head. How nice to be affirmed!

Speaking of being affirmed, it will be great to be stepping out of my winter hibernation and sharing some of my newer pieces at a local gallery in Tinley Park, IL for the month of March.
Interacting with others, talking about my creative process, that's very affirming to me......The angel image above, along with several other photos depicting fog, ice, condensation and windows will be featured. March 5th 7-9 p.m.reception, Vogt Visual Art gallery, come on out and say Hi!

Where's my Heart?

2010-02-14T15:02:00.000-08:00

"Where's My Heart?"
Digital Art

With life (and some fear emotions) getting in my way, my heart and art went down under for awhile. (To Australia to see Uta? Maybe). Yes, when I'm in these moods, I want to run far away or sink deep within myself. Last night, watching the Olympics, I thought, "let's move to Vancouver. It's so beautiful." My partner says "Beautiful, but too cold..... Still, the possibilities are there. Don't have much holding me back here. That's how I feel when I get down in the dumps. The last few days, though, I've been in recovery mode and am beginning to see the light again. Walking through the fear, taking actions somehow lessens the turbulence I feel. New opportunities are a possibility in the near future. In the past, "what's the use" was my mantra. I'm tired of this albatross. Now I say "I want to live again, feel the passion". And I want to trust and believe in my process.

My inner child was happy making this piece with me today. She liked the bright colors while I seemed determined to keep a bit of black adorning the image. My psychology/deep inner self scanned the image after I completed it. I like to do this, it gives more meaing to what I create, more connection personally to me. I think the black represents me mourning some parts of me dying away which seemed a necessary process. There's a rainbow tool I used, a computer element that made the rainbow circles on the black. There is a light at the end of the rainbow, my art proclaims to me. Yes, rebirth, new beginnings, transformation all making their presence known too. I'm paying attention to my inner child and responding to her needs again. I feel her tentatively dancing inside of me, ready to spring loose. "Is it safe yet to come out" she whispers to me. "I think so", I reply as I added a bit more black paint here and there. Doubt still lingers.

Stay Tuned. Loving you all on Valentines Day and always.......

Kiki the Cat

2010-01-28T19:25:00.000-08:00

"Kiki the Cat"
Watercolor on fiber paper with
some scribble paints added here and there

I fell in love with a kittie photograph that a friend of mine posted on Facebook. The expression on the face was rather unique which really appealed to me. I asked her if I could paint it so I could get some more practice in painting animals. Once I got her permission, I hunted around for some paper to paint Kiki on. I was in an experimental mood and chose some fiber paper (cream colored with bits of green fiber intermingled throughout). It looked pretty sturdy, much sturdier than rice paper so thought I'd give it a shot! I sketched the cat in lightly and then proceeded to practice with some watercolors. Mistake!!! The paper was quite porous and the water sank through the paper. It became rather hard to work with after that. I wanted to toss Kiki aside and throw it in the reject pile as failed attempt. But a part of me said "keep going" so after letting the watercolors dry, I added some scribble paints here and there. The eyes got some of the glittery scribble paint as did the nose. It's hard to see the effect here, but on the original it is more evident. My husband said the final product looked tacky with the scribble paints and I should have left it in its original form. I welcome free speech.......

I really didn't want to share the painting with my facebook friend, but decided today to e-mail it to her (for the heck of it).

Lessons: 1. Be careful when you use fiber paper as a base for watercolor
2. Sometimes a photo is just too cute and sweet to reproduce and is better
left in its original form
3. Experimentation is the only way you learn sometimes!

I think in a past life this cat lived in China (note the slanty eyes)! Though this cat is not anatomically correct, I had fun bringing it to life on paper.

Winter Holding Spring Back

2010-01-23T11:57:00.000-08:00

"Winter Holding Spring Back"
Digital Art

You'd think that 12 years after my Mom passed away into the Heavens above, I would be able to move on. But there's something about her birthday each year that throws me for a loop. Of course, the fact that I have suppressed so many of my deep emotions during the years subsequent have not made it any easier. I numbed myself in order to cope with life, yet still felt I was sleepwalking. As I wake up to my authentic self each and every day, my emotions wake up too. I didn't think I'd be able to create during this last week or so as I worked through my grief and memories of Mom, but I did. The above creation emerged slowly, hesitantly, but it finally made its presence known.

I took a photo through a store window in downtown Frankfort. Lately I've been mesmorized by condensation and/or ice forming on glass. It makes for a rather mysterious, mystical image. A straw-like formation in the center flanked by small daisies stared out from the dark interior. I was also in a Picasso mood as I played around with some computer tools, forming small cubes that seemed to pop out. My love of Abstract came out to say Hi too. Extra lines added in represented the energy of Spring chomping at the bits, waiting behind Winter for its turn, imprisoned for another month or so. Thus the title. For a little while, as I created, I floated above my grief and connected with something else. A bliss danced with me and I forgot the sadness.

They say time eases the pain of those we have lost. Yes, it has, but its the birthdays and holidays that still hit some raw emotion. But Spring will be here soon and I will remember Mom in the flowers blooming and the birds chirping. For then I know that she is all around me and really has not ever left my side......For me, that is reassuring!

The Light From Within

2010-01-16T15:56:00.000-08:00

"The Light From Within"
Digital Art

The images from Haiti flashing across the TV screen lately have twisted my heart and stomach into knots. To alleviate some of this internal discomfort, I decided to turn to creativity, many times a savior in my life. I must admit some of my most emotional pieces have come when I am in the midst of crisis of some sort. After my parents passed on, I did a series of about 8 paintings or so reflecting my grief. While we were at the Cemetary for my mom's burial, I took out my camera and began taking photos of the Springtime buds on the trees. For a little while that day, my grief dissolved a little. The Apple Blossoms were so gorgeous that day. And now, the Haiti earthquake has evoked emotional tremors within myself and again, I reach for art to soothe myself.

Yet, I feel sad. I so love and feel passion for my creative spirit but it never seems like enough. I want to help others even more in some way. To heal them, transform them, make their hurts go away. And still I stop myself. Why, why, why? Just some conflict I need to process.....

The above image is a melding of three images. The background is of a blurry sunset sky image of peaches and blues. The figure on the left is a statue (I believe of the Virgin Mary) that I took over at St. Francis of the Woods. A beautiful place to retreat to, by the way. The figure on the right is a woman I had painted many moons ago and then played around with in photoshop. If you look closely enough, you can see some stained glass fragments nestled in there. Stained glass, a symbol of churches to me anyway, that gives me spiritual solace. I faded the figures a bit to give more of a dreamy, almost surreal feel to them. Maybe too, the effect is otherworldly, as that is how I feel about Haiti, like it's not happening, but it is of course. Someone commented on the image above and said she could feel much emotion, tinged with sadness. And yes, I feel sad, helpless that I cannot do more, give someone over there a hug, let them have a shoulder to cry on.....

I felt quite spiritual when I created this image yesterday. My emotions were pretty strong. And they have stayed strong. I think I have really stirred them up and they are not going away. I think that's why I stopped creating for a few years. The emotions got so intense I just couldn't handle them anymore. Yet, I must remember how good it feels to release them, to not hold them. I hope I am different now. I hope I can handle them now. Because if I don't create, I am empty.

Sending Blessings to Haiti. For now, that is all I can do! P.S. Am I losing it or what? I seem to see an image of a Haitian man? (face and torso) nestled between the two women. Does anyone else see him?

So Many Eyes I Can See With

2010-01-12T11:32:00.000-08:00

"So Many Eyes I Can See With"
Watercolor/Digital Art

Newest creation unveiled. I was looking at several books on how to paint peacocks. I had a pretty decent photo of the bird with his feathers all spread out, which appealed to me. There is something about feathers that open up in all their glory. (Symbolically, opening up ourselves and letting all our gifts unfold to the universe). One of the artists from his book said to draw all the lines (for the back tail feathers) with a ruler. I did as he said, then redrew the lines on the computer free form. I love the ideas of others, but guess I still like to do my own thing. Need to keep that unique stamp!
I pooped out on making the many eyes on the feathers, so decided to just do a few and leave the rest to the viewer to fill in. They can always be added later, if I so choose! I also brightened up the four "eyes" because I felt like there was deeper meaning there that I wanted to present. (Window to the Soul, for example). I'm not sure if I like the title, but for now it seems to fit my present mood. My only regret is that I didn't make this painting bigger (it's about 8"x10" or so); those tail feathers might have looked more impressive in a bigger format. Next time!
Finally, I looked up the meaning of the peacock on the internet and got this:

Contemplate the powers of the Peacock when you need more vibrancy and vitality in your experience. The Peacock can also help you on your spiritual Path, and breath new life into your walk of faith.

The Peacock can rejuvenate self-esteem levels too. If you’re feeling “blah” and blue, imagine the glorious, techno-color display the Peacock provides. This puts us in a proper mood to embrace your own nobility. In no time, you’ll be walking tall and proud as a Peacock too!

PEACOCK symbolism: astral body consciousness - inward immersion - point of transformation - outward expression integration - purification - transmutation

All good deeper meaning kind of words which made me happy I had chosen the peacock as my next creation to paint! My rather "blah" feeling lately seemed to disappear when I let the paints fly! Note to Bev: KEEP CREATING!

A new painting to add to my bird menagerie. I hope all the chirping won't disturb the neighbors!

Sharing Gifts is Timeless

2010-01-08T18:46:00.000-08:00

"Sharing Gifts Is Timeless"
Digital Photograph
by Beverly Bronson

I hope I never lose my creative spark. For heaven's sake, it has taken much of my life to reconnect with, and embrace, this vital part of me. Peeling away the layers, so many layers to get to that gold. These three men, singing joyfully, are a reminder that age is not a barrier to that which we cherish and have a passion for.

Yes, as I stare at the image above, I am transported back to that day when three angels serenaded me during an Art Fair held during October. Though the weather was certainly chilly, my heart was warmed by their voices. The impact these gents left on me was, and still is, to this day, amazing. Memories like this sustain me on my path.........when I falter and forget who I really am!

Strength and Love United!

2010-01-03T12:12:00.000-08:00

"Strength and Love United"
Watercolor

I finished this painting a few days ago. I got an eagle sculpture for Christmas and thought it would be a perfect model to paint. And besides, it seems to represent strength, something I continue to work on within myself. It would not fly away, shift poses, look bored or anything. A captive audience.Maybe quite not the challenge of going down to Starved Rock and painting the bald eagles flying around, but that's for another time. Perhaps the sculpture is really just a fossilized eagle from times long ago. Okay, there goes my imagination.....I do admire those who sculpt or do pottery and other 3D creative pursuits. Those classes just never grabbed me back in art school. Oh, and those who model in life drawing classes, by the way (what patience)! I so admire their stamina!

In the old days I would have painted every feather on a bird, every scale on an alligator, etc. Now I just do impressions, little dashes and swirls here and there. The rest can be filled in by the viewer. After I completed the watercolor above, I looked more closely at it and then something Elena had posted once on her blog came to mind. She talked about finding hearts in the world around us, in inanimate objects, if we just open our own hearts and soul.
Well, the wings on this bird look like a heart, don't you think? And how perfect, to have strength and love together, represented in the eagle and its heart-shaped wings. To be strong, but not so strong and tough that love is shut out. That sounds good to me!

I then grabbed Jamie Sim's Medicine Cards book and thumbed through to see what the eagle symbolizes. An overall summary with what I thought were key points follows:
"Eagle medicine is the power of the Great Spirit, the connection to the Divine. It is the ability to live in the realm of spirit, and yet remain connected and balanced within the realm of Earth... to look higher and to touch Grandfather Sun with your heart, to love the shadow as well as the light...to follow the joy your heart desires"

So I really do believe in the power of creativity. I saw the heart emerging from the eagle as I painted it and then Jamie's words reaffirmed with words the connection of it all. Synchronicity, another word that comes to mind. Maybe I am putting even more of my own heart self into the image and it emerged in a visual way. Hope so.

Yes, I must admit I almost donated the eagle sculpture to goodwill. I have so many tokens and tidbits already and in my decluttering state of mind, nothing is safe. But then, I would not have painted the bird, which pushed me to new levels regarding meaning and symbolism.

And yes, Carol, you are right; it really does matter what we paint and its personal affinity to us. It's not just a little bird on a fence post, but a magnificant eagle that represents so much more. Love, strength, balance, flying to new heights, leaving the old behind, more intentions and more messages for me to embrace as the New Year continues to unfold.......Thank you, Eagle!

Warbler Wishes All A Happy New Year

2010-01-01T11:06:00.000-08:00

"Warbler"
Watercolor

A bird does not sing because it has an answer.
It sings because it has a song.
- Chinese Proverb

I've decided, as one of my 2010 New Year intentions, to do things differently. Even just a small change in routine would spice up my life. I did not go out dancing and drinking champaign in my glitzy, sparkling gown with cleavage showing. I did not even watch the ball make its trek down on Times Square in New York. In fact, quietude drifted all around me as I burned candles and incense while writing down some resolutions for 2010. Then I took the small piece of paper, put it into a little black kettle (cauldron) and, sitting outside, watched the flames turn my thoughts and wishes into ashes. Some of the ashes twirled around, dancing in the night air. The blue moon shone cheerfully overhead, adding even more magic to the moment. After I shivered in the zero temps for a few minutes, breathing in the beauty of nature, I walked inside and went into my studio. And a little warbler birdie emerged in watercolor to help me celebrate the wonder of the New Year. And I got so into my zone painting him that only the firecrackers going on outside my window reminded me that the Midnight Hour had arrived!

As I said earlier, I wanted to do things differently so I took a small pack of Cotman Water Colour Postcards and proceeded to pull a tiny sheet out. Yes, the size is only 4x6 inches, but still a good quality. (140 lb cold pressed watercolor paper). I have never done creations on such small paper before so this is where I would test my abilities. Surprisingly, I found drawing the birdie quite easy to do. I think sometimes the larger paper intimidates me and I end up almost chopping off the head or legs as a result. I just can't get the size right. I like to draw freestyle and not use charts or dimensional tools, as for me it seems to ruin the spontaneity of what I am creating, trying to get it to look real, too real! After I had painted the bird, I scanned it into my scanner. Here I had problems as the image was too small and the scanner wasn't picking it up. So I placed a sheet of blue mat board behind the image and that seemed to work. After I looked at it on the computer, I started playing around with the blue mat background and as I rotated it, white edge borders emerged from the blue as my fingers slipped a bit on the computer keys. But I rather like the off kilter effect and have decided to keep it here for the moment. Another experiment. Another way to add spice to my life.

I hope to continue to make changes, no matter how small, to offset any routines I may fall victim to. I have many more intentions to abide by as the New Year unfolds. And I am glad the warbler above was a witness to my thoughts and dreams, and will chirp a reminder to me when I falter.

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU AND YOURS!!!!!

Spirit Calling

2009-12-28T12:37:00.000-08:00

"Spirit Calling"
Digital Collage

I have been praying lately for artistic venues to appear and for my energy to stay positive. Meditating in quiet solitude has been intense, but necessary. Sometimes, though, even isolated quietude is not enough. This morning my emotions were very strong and I needed another outlet for them. So I decided to cope with them in a creative way and the image above is a result!

"Spirit Calling" is a composite of two images. One is of a coyote howling that I did in watercolor. The other is a photo I took when I lived out in Yellowstone National Park, working at Old Faithful Inn for a few summers. Yes, the environment out there was gorgeous, a creative dream. Yes, it was an escape of sorts from the "real world" I left behind. I continued to feel a restless longing within myself as I worked with the two images, marrying them together into one. I decided to add the words "Spirit Calling", which seemed to be twirling in my heart, letting them spew from the coyote's lips. Visualizing with words and images what I long for, as I have done here, may help quell my restless emotions. Or stimulate them. I shall just have to trust the process.....

Do I long for the West (or Southwest) right now? Yes, I do. I did leave a piece of my soul there. Do I feel it is again an escape? Not as much as I used to. I know I will take myself and my problems with me. At least I have that much awareness. I cannot run from them. Still, I hear the coyotes howling and the wind rustling through the trees bathed in beautiful sunsets and wonder, why not? And my soul seems to be nodding in agreement.

I feel it is necessary to paint what I believe in and long for as the need arises. And to paint my emotions as well. There is a power to creativity that seems to manifest one's truth, which wants to be heard. This is my belief anyway. And as I type these final words here, the wind rustles at the window, reaffirming that I am exactly at the place I need to be!

I'm low on Energy, but Creativity still Flourishes

2009-12-23T09:45:00.000-08:00

"Green Bird"
Watercolor

I've been feeling a bit rundown the last few days. This allows me to snuggle with my watercolor paints and create. I notice that my ego mind seems to shut down when I'm not feeling well, allowing me access to a deeper unconscious realm that is full of untapped gold. So I know that to create during this time is like finding a treasure chest. No matter how the world collapses around me with its untended business during these times, I always have enough energy to create. Priorities are so important to me! As is just going with the flow.

I also know that my emotions are quite intense these days. When the holidays approach, I embrace my significant other and my creations that spew forth. I certainly enjoy watching and reading how others enjoy the holidays and it makes my heart glow. Yet, I celebrate differently, quietly, lots of contemplation with candles burning brightly, incense filling the air and lots of paintings emerging. As a result, my feelings calm down.

I'm quite pleased with the bird image above. I notice lately that my subject matter is isolated, with white backgrounds. How I used to paint many moons ago. The watercolors seem to flow in some areas as I add lots of water, giving a dreamy effect. Yet, I can also solidify in other places, such as in the eye and tail feathers to add contrast. The paper I used is, I believe a hot pressed paper such as bristol board. I've just been grabbing sheets of paper laying around and going to town. To fuss too much with the right paper or proper paints is to tamper with the passion I am feeling. A good thing, this not caring about the details. The paints do not soak into the paper as much, I notice, and seem to dry quicker as a result. So I really needed to be moving around and not take much to ponder where the next stroke would go. Yes, watercolor at this time seems to be my medium of choice, challenging me. My expressive nature can be allowed to run rampant as I paint.

So this is how I'm spending my days. I am filled with peace and joy internally even as my physical body is a bit beat down. Each painting I am producing is a gift to me, a way to honor myself and get back to a healthy place.

Enjoy the day! Embrace the Magic! It's all Good!

Zebra Portrait, Stripes and All

2009-12-22T09:33:00.000-08:00

"Zebra"
Watercolor

Well, I suppose I could put antlers on this fellow and add a red nose and he'd fit right in to the holiday season (well, sort of). I picked a photo out I had taken at the Zoo a while back and though the stripes seemed challenging, I made a go of it. The photo is more of a portrait with just the head and partial body showing. I had another photo of the whole zebra, but decided to start out slowly so I wouldn't be too overwhelmed. In the old days, I would have made each stripe perfect, just like the photo conveyed. But now I'm too lazy or is it a different style of mine emerging? Either way, this is what transpired. The paint brush and my rather shaky hand created wavy patterns on the body, and I feel there's more movement and energy as a result. I could have done the animal in black and white with just some touches of yellow and orange on the mane but felt I wanted him to be a bit more exciting. I've heard that white snow with its shadows has many different colors in it. Thus, why not the zebra with dashes of colors too? Done in watercolor, I tried to use more pigment than water to give purer, stronger color.

He looks a bit like Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh, in my opinion. Perhaps it's the droopy head. Eeyore's personality endeared me to him. His bleak, pessimistic attitude always in such contrast to the other animals. Yet, I'm glad he was part of the Winnie the Pooh group, for it made their personalities more realistic, more humanly diverse. I love all Winnie the Pooh books, enjoying the superb illustrations and the lessons I get every time I read the written word.

The zebra Eeyore-like pose brings to mind a lady buying one of my prints of an Egret done in watercolor. The slouchy posture, she said, reminded her of her daughter, and thus she had to have it. I wondered whether she'd tell her daughter the reason why she bought it. I doubt it, still it was fun that she shared this tidbit with me. Different reasoning and motives behind what captures the viewer's eye. I'm sure there's a bit of my emotions and feelings coming out here as well. Otherwise, why are we motivated and drawn to certain subjects? At least in my case, this appears true.

Anyway, glad I attempted the zebra. Often, I'll get people asking me "do you do zebras, whales, dogs, owls, etc. and I say no, I haven't yet, but I"ll try one. I'm pretty content being safe painting birds, as I have done a number of them. Lately, I'm coming out of my comfort zone, creating parrots, cats and now the zebra here. Experimentation beckons me, challenges me, alleviating my restless creative spirit!

And now I'd like to push myself more, in an external sense. I'm pondering looking into local animal shelters to see if I could do some paintings of kitties or puppies. My artist friend, Doris, got me thinking about this. Oh by the way, click on the link here, to see a beautiful portrait she did of three dogs. She inspires me, for sure. Anyway, it would be interesting to paint from real life and I know I could generate some real emotions out of this particular subject matter in this environment. If nothing else, take a few photos and try to recreate them at home! It can't hurt to ask; they can only say no! But they might say yes! So I'll sign off now and just say:

May the magic of the Holidays bring you Joy and Peace!

Gimme Some Lovin'

2009-12-19T20:37:00.000-08:00

"Gimme Some Lovin'"
Watercolor

One time I took a jaunt down to Crete-Monee, a small town just South of where I live. There was a psychic fair going on at a lady's house. It was an interesting adventure, meeting all the people who believed in otherworldly matters, ghosts, spirits, etc. But it was the 10 or so cats roaming around the two-story ramshackled house that got my attention. Apparently the psychic had a heart of gold and took in stray creatures. They roamed in and out of the many rooms, some looking a little worse for wear. A few limped, some had little sores on their bodies, but all of them came over to me for a little cuddling. Love conquers all ailments, don't you think? I took a few photos of these purring machines and there was one cat whom I thought might make a good painting subject.

So today I took my watercolors and began painting him (or her). This cat had the most beautiful eyes I'd ever seen, the colors of the emerald sea or maybe a turquoise stone. Fathomless depths you could lose yourself in. With a touch of attitude that said "I'm a survivor, don't feel sorry for me, I am doing quite well!" After I took his photo, he wandered aruond the grounds, with a cocky jaunt that belied his physical maladies. My compassion for him turned to admiration. Yes, we can learn from those who come into our life, whose will and intent and heart can overcome all obstacles.

I think I left my heart there at that house that day. Those sweet babes melted me. I'm glad the lady owner recognized that these four legged spirits were just as important as the ones she was calling forth from other realms. I hope all the cats are doing well. Today, with the holidays and all of us snug with our loved ones, I send my love to those who seem less fortunate. Now, let me rephrase this. I do not want to pity them. Perhaps they are content with their lot in life. It is, after all, their karma, their lesson. And I certainly don't want to mess with destiny.

And now, time to pick out a card from my tarot deck. I want to see how my day will evolve.

The Fire Within

2009-12-17T12:02:00.000-08:00

"The Fire Within"
Watercolor

I did this painting a few days ago. After wallowing in and brooding about my life situation for awhile (which seemed to keep me stuck), I went into the studio and decided to paint my feelings. I am always quite astounded by what comes out. Rather than the creation being dark and gloomy (as my emotions seemed to dictate), the parrot is colorful and free-flowing. And as the bird evolved, I felt a new burst of energy rising up within me. Amazing transformation! Art is sooooo healing! I didn't want to get bogged down on painting every feather in true form, as this takes away from the spontaneous intuition that I embrace these days. In a sense, too, I feel on a deeper level this is my soul speaking. Like the parrot losing his form, I too am losing my formulated, preconceived notions of myself. This allows me the freedom to pursue who I truly am.

I may do a series on this as it seems to tie in with my "Parrot Phoenix", which I did about a month ago. That particular parrot was rising from the ashes; this one is beginning to fly high with his feathers flaming behind him! And to Judy, again I owe my gratitude for letting me visit your parrots. They seem to have inspired me on some level!

I shall continue to foster my seeds of compassion, for fear seems to lessen as a result. Every day I seem to be learning something new about myself; awareness seems to be playing a part!

Forest Smoke Teaches Me

2009-12-13T12:44:00.000-08:00

"Forest Smoke"
Digital Photo

In the image above, campfire smoke arises into the woods, and like a blanket of grey-blue snow it covers the land below it. Today I shall replace the smoke with fog, as fog seems to be a more appropriate word to describe my state of being the last few days.

I keep thinking I've come out of my fog, awakening from my self-induced slumber. A slumber that can now be put aside. Long ago used as a protective device, I do not see the need anymore. I am safer now, at least comparatively speaking. And shouldn't all my feelings and emotions subsequently be joyful, peaceful, tranquil, zen-like? Not quite. In a perfect world, maybe. The feelings that keep moving up through me are wicked, deep, old, old festering wounds. Sometimes I cannot physically breathe as a result. Yes, the emotions are strong, wrecking havoc both within and without.

The tree branches are fingers of old patterns, wanting to hold onto and wallow in these feelings, not allowing them escape. They want me to go to sleep. It is tempting, I must say! The price? Staying stuck with little movement and more charades. With the mask being pulled on a little tighter. And slowly dying to my heart and soul. Why would I choose this path? Because I have become used to it? I suppose. But a louder voice within says "No longer will I settle. I shall begin again. A few words I have borrowed from my friend Suz's vocabulary and that seem to fit me at this moment. Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

In the grasps of nature, the fog lingers, but then leaves, evaporating into the air. Everything is temporary, nothing is for sure. I can take lessons from this and allow my emotions to take their last gasp, thus freed, outside of my inner being.

The sun will rise and set in glorious colors within me, and the fog will share its grayness, I don't deny that. I can only trust and hope that what follows will joyfully sustain me!

Love and light to all!

Mood Evoked By Black and White

2009-12-12T10:30:00.000-08:00

"Castle Tower"
Digital Photo

I remember a photographer friend of mine was exhibiting at an art fair with me saying "I notice you're not doing photography anymore. Why not?" Sometimes I think life takes dips and turns and creativity is like that too. That's why I'm thankful that I have various creative mediums to reach out for depending on my feelings and emotions. What best expresses how I feel at any given moment? I think the subject matter has to appeal to me as well. The Beverly Unitarian Church has so many cracks and crevices to explore, with much hidden spirituality that begs to be shared. Black and white photography can evoke mood, emotion and mystery that sometimes color photography cannot do. Thus the lack of color in these images here. If you look closely at the photo above, you can see the parted window curtains where I had my art exhibit set up just beyond. What an environment to tantalize one's imagination!

"The Alcove"
Digital Photograph

Here is where I had my art exhibit set up. You can see the foreground silhouettes of my art prints, etc. Tucked away from everyone else I was for the day. I liked feeling a bit hidden back here. Besides, I could look out the window and dream, dream of being a princess waiting for her Prince Charming. Although my Prince Charming was sitting on one of the church's stairwells reading a book, a girl can never have too many Princes with charm in her life, can she?

"Window and Staircase"
Digital Photo

Values of light and dark and shades of grey in-between can really evoke mood. And hopefully, the viewer will wonder what is going on here. I leave out pieces of information so the viewer can fill in the blanks. I learned this in creative writing class, and have applied this philosophy to my photography and painting projects as well. I enjoyed going inside and outside "The Castle" walls to capture the difference ambiances that were portrayed. The late afternoon shadows were casting interesting shapes throughout.

"Within the Windows"
Digital Photograph

Back outside I went again, looking for reflections cast through the glass. Light, then dark, then light again seemed wonderful for perspective. Elena has often seen ghostly reflections in her creative pieces, and Suz mentioned the church is said to be haunted. Enough said. My curiosity invoked now, I stared more closely at my photos to see what was hidden there. One never knows who is lurking around, unwilling to leave these earthly realms.

So here is my black and white photo exhibit for the day. I find that if I can take a meaningful photo, at least in my eyes, and then elaborate on it through the written word, I feel very content. Utilizing a black and white theme here seemed to evoke the mood I was after. I don't have to be locked into color all the time, which is very freeing. Thank you, Elena, for inspiring me by posting some black and white photos on your blog, by the way. Thank you, Suz, for telling me to open some doors. Peeking through curtains doesn't hurt, either!!!!

The Spirit is Everywhere

2009-12-09T18:57:00.000-08:00

"Ferns on Window Sill"
Digital Art

Lately I've been drawn to windows. No matter whether they're frosted, dusty, tinted or squeaky clean, there is something intriguing about them when used as a backdrop. I was again sorting through the photos I had taken at the Beverly Unitarian Church. In the bathroom on the main floor, some ferns in a pot were residing on a window sill, soaking up the late afternoon winter light. The window had a frosted, texture-like feel to it and seemed a nice contrast to the smooth plant leaves. I pumped up the color a bit and added some reddish tones to the leaves. Some light purples were dabbled onto the background to break up some of the flatter space there.

I wanted to bring out tne fern's inner essence and vitality and feel I was able to accomplish it here. There is an energetic aura surrounding the leaves that reflect this as well. To me, the plant's leaves seem to be raised in homage and prayer to Mother Earth, God, the Angels, a Higher Power or whatever name the plant wants to give it. Yes, indeed, I found spirit everywhere in the church that day, even in the bathroom. Never leave any stone unturned, for there is magic to be found where we least expect it.

Primitive Spirit

2009-12-08T15:51:00.000-08:00

"Primitive Spirit"
Digital Art

Every so often I get to a point where I can't paint. So when this dry period occurs, I grab some recent photos I have taken and see if I can get creative with them. Last Saturday I spent the day at Beverly Unitarian Church exhibiting some of my art pieces. The church is quite old and is referred to as "The Castle" because of its structure and towers. When the crowds were thinning out, I grabbed my camera and walked around inside and outside, trying to find some interesting images. Stained glass windows flanked by candles and candelabras caught my eye, as well as stone towers with shadows crossing their exteriors. I got to exhibit my work in an alcove area on the second floor and the lacy curtains adorning the windows also seemed worthy of a picture.

The above image was originally a black and white image of the window with curtains flanking either side. I decided to colorize the image a bit and change some of the shapes around to give it a more abstract feel. The orangish shape in the middle became to take on a life of its own, reminding me of primitive art, maybe something found on an old cave wall long ago. You know, those creatures that the cavemen used to hunt down. Then I felt like adding some purple, green and pink flowers or so they seemed anyway, letting them float dreamily in space.

I suppose what I created above might be called intuitive art. I begin with a shape or general design and then see what emerges as a result. No plan in mind, just letting my heart and soul create for me! It's a very freeing process really.

The image above might be a homage to times long ago, where memories are not forgotten, but live on, even during an art show! At times during the day, I sat on the window sill in the alcove, staring out the windows, feeling like a princess locked in a tower, waiting for her knight to rescue her. Even Rapunzel came to mind, though my own hair would never make it down to the ground below. I think I was tapping into the historical ghosts of the past or so it seemed anyway. I am grateful for my dreamy self. It helps me, when the creative well runs a bit dry, to access hidden parts of me that may soon become a new image. If nothing else, the daydreaming makes me feel good inside.

As I reflect here, the primitive spirit seems to be stirring within me. A couple days ago, the wild cat came out. Today, the primitive spirit. Tomorrow, I can only imagine!

Released from the Cage

2009-12-06T20:33:00.000-08:00

"Released from the Cage"
Acrylics

There's a wildness within me that wants to be released. I am not sure how I'll handle this side of me. My parents, who raised me to be a "nice" girl, would probably be raising their eyebrows at my rantings here.Yet, they ranted when I was growing up. No fair, double standard! I may use the rantings (I think my inner child is just throwing a tantrum cuz she wants to be front and center 24/7 these days) as a creative outlet perhaps. Throw some paint, rip up some papers, do a Jackson Pollock number with buckets of paint spattered every which way. Black and red colors dominating the palette (oh rainbow colors will be fine too). It's better than ripping someone else's head off when it's really just bottled up emotions coming to the surface. Like a volcano spewing lava those feelings are beginning to percolate, held back, suppressed too long. I realize there's no need to blame an innocent other who crosses my path. This is my internal battle. Just be gentle with myself. Pet the wild cat, give it a bowl of milk and then set it loose. It's been domesticated for way too long now. The fairies and angels may have to take a backseat for a bit to allow these darker stirrings to emerge. Caged within. Hidden. Holding back, yet chomping at the bit.Demanding some attention. Little purring kitty cat wants to growl.

Actually, the image I posted above started out as a nice little cat of sorts. And look what happened to it. The background, originally calming, stark white, transformed to hot orange. Colors can do that, help us process our feelings better. Maybe there is something to therapeutic art release of feelings after all. How can I not spend my time doing art? So healing, so surprising, so fulfilling!

Suddenly the song lyrics by Helen Reddy "I am woman, Hear me Roar" are dancing through my head. I think I need to pay attention to what is transpiring here.

Just some late evening ramblings from me. Hey, that's what blogs are for, right?
This was made into a draft last night, but today I shall share it. It feels right!

A Daisy Gazes

2009-12-01T12:39:00.000-08:00

"A Daisy Gazes"
Digital Art

Well, I did it. I took a week off from my blog here just to see what it felt like. For some reason, I didn't have anything to say. That was an odd feeling, but so true. In the meantime, I stayed connected with my on-line blogger friends and commented or followed along silently as they posted. And cheered them on as they followed their paths in life.

I pondered what to put on here for today. I had seen a hawk in a tree and then that same night a buck with antlers and all had walked down my driveway (This in a residential area!). I could feel their power and grace as they gazed at me and I stood transfixed by the two creatures. I then got out my Medicine cards book and read what they represented. Yes, I had it all in my mind how I would talk about the experience here on the blog. Sometimes, words though, can diminish the experience. So for now, I have put them into my memory and let them reside there for awhile. And even deeper they have gone into my heart.

So instead, I found this photo of a pretty little gerbera (I believe) daisy that was staring at its reflection in a gazing ball. During a lull at an art fair I was in, I decided to wander down the quaint streets and take in the beauty of the surroundings. This flower caught me eye! "How gorgeous I am", it seems to be saying. Yes, even nature likes to admire itself! And yes I think I can see myself taking a photo in the upper right hand corner. Surprise! Those gazing balls don't miss a trick! I added a few faint lines here and there on the daisy to depict the energy lines that run through it. Alive this flower is, so alive and it touches the gazing ball and it touches me with its power and love!

Staying in the moment and being attuned to all my senses allows for some delightful moments in my life. Whether it's a hawk, a buck or a daisy who crosses my path, I welcome them all. And I welcome my blog back into my arms too. It's time to share me again!

Feathers Come Together

2009-11-21T20:35:00.000-08:00

"Feathers Come Together"
Digital Art

Just got back from exhibiting in an art fair in Willow Springs. It was a quiet day with about 12 artists riding on that creative supportive energy that each one of us was emitting. Sometimes just getting to know one another is enough for me. Sharing notes, comparing journeys, connecting on a deep level only other artists can relate to. And at the end of the day, sharing pizza, wine, crackers and cheese and our own selves. There is one more day of this fair. I am glad I came into the fair with no expectations; just an optimistic sense of adventure, for it is after all a 1st year event. Having an art fair in a fitness facility was a challenge. I had to sometimes go into a zen mood at times to "tune out" the distractions of people running on the track all around us, the treadmills making their noises or the occasional person hitting the punching bag nearby. An interesting intermingling of people all under one roof; yet each with different goals to accomplish!

Back at home, after I had relaxed a bit, I felt that creative voice calling to me. I had brought some art supplies to the art fair, thinking I might paint something while there. But chatting and more chatting kept me otherwise occupied. But now I did not have those distractions (a word I use in a very positive way). I found a parrot image I had done a few weeks back and scanned it into my computer. It's done in watercolor with some metallic acrylic paints added to give it some dash and oomph. That long feather in front is a feather from Waldo, a parrot I had visited about a week ago and whose owner kindly gifted me with. I played with a technique on the computer which gives it a slightly crackled effect. The black and white feather photo was an assignment I had done for an Intro to Photography class some years back. It's not a parrot feather, but birds of a feather flock together so felt it would fit in just fine. For some reason, I felt like making the black and white feather into a spiritual pendant of sorts for the parrot to wear around its neck.

I'm not sure what meaning I was trying to convey here. Maybe just playing around with collaging some different items via the computer. Or perhaps seeing what combining different tones and colors would look like. Or just simply paying attention to my inner voice saying "create, create, now, now! I still realize I have a fascination for birds and cannot seem to leave them alone or put them aside for want of something better? to create.

So just wanted to check in and say Hi and that all is well. Life is good and I look forward to each day as a new chapter in my life. Ruffling my feathers (my creativity) embracing other feathers (new artistic beings), and flying to different realms (Willow Springs) seems to be my lesson for the day. Good night!

A Path With Heart

2009-11-17T08:21:00.000-08:00

An Image Taken from the Internet
Artist Unknown - My Apologies

Today I feel lack of energy to create. Or at least at this moment. So I have taken an image from the Internet that speaks to my emotional state right now. In writing class, one of the exercises we do is to take a photo or magazine image and write about it. Sometimes, the visual helps to stir the writing muse hidden within.

I find myself longing to connect to that child within, that happy, playful imp that wants to explore and have fun. The little child above seems to be holding a lantern, nestled in a land of flowers. Perhaps she is searching for something, anything. Perhaps she is content to be where she is, and needs the lantern to explore the more hidden realms of life. The sun is shining brightly ahead of her and soon she may place the lantern down and be guided by the rays shining down on her. I can fill in the blanks as I see fit, making a story that resonates with my inner self. Although the little girl above is walking through the flowers, I recall memories of myself lying in a forest preserve, with flowers and prairie shrubs dancing in the wind just above me. Those were times of extreme bliss for me, where the world and its hooks seemed to melt away. I am a nature creature, and always have been, and I embrace that now.

I so want to believe in my creative self, for with that comes a spiritual enlightenment and contentment that makes me feel invincible. But as the bills continue to pile up, I feel some fear. I have done more art fairs this year than ever before, but it is still not enough for me to survive! Ah, that word survive. As I write these last two sentences, I feel a stirring from within, and my inner child starts to protest and shrink. I cannot allow this to happen. I just finished an art fair on Sunday and will be in another one the following weekend. Yet, my spirit feels tired. To have to "force" myself to make more prints and come up with new art can be challenging to me. Yet, the alternative is to work outside the creative realm of possibilities. Yes, I am limiting myself. Why can I not find a photography job or work in an art shop or something? It is not enough, really. The wages are not enough. So I continue to stew and mull and not take action, in limbo land. I do play the lottery, visualize winning, and building a spiritual/artistic center out in the Southwest somewhere. Where like minds can meet, gather, and be inspired. I also pray for a benefactor or mentor recognizing me, guiding me, encouraging me. I do believe in visualization and every day send images like this out into the world, with intent, lots of strong intent.

All is not gloom and doom, however. I went to a new friend's house and took some photos of her parrots. She has a macaw named Waldo, an incredibly gorgeous creature. He and all the other birds are amazing in their colors, each so diversified. Perhaps I can get some creative inspiration from them. Perhaps not. I feel the possibilities there, but the darker mood seems stronger. I don't want to dwell too much on my present state but feel it is a necessary place to be. To process the feelings coming up and then let them go! Let Them Go!

It's a little too chilly to lie down on the forest floor today. Although I long to escape for awhile into nature's embrace. I shall keep my lantern lit, and maybe find some answers within my heart today. My inner child is afraid of the dark, and I don't want her to get lost. Staying true to a path with heart can be fraught with detours. But the flowers will show me the way and the weeds of negativity will not detract.

"Bird of Paradise - Now Enlightened"

2009-11-12T07:32:00.000-08:00

"Bird of Paradise - Now Enlightened"
Digital Art

The best laid plans go awry sometimes. A new friend of mine sent me a number of stunning photos of her beautiful birds, including some parrots. I had hoped to paint one of them in the last few days. But that project is on hold, due to other obligations. Still, my creative appetite is whetted by these lovely feathered creatures and they will not be forgotten for long!

In the meantime, I found the digital art image above. Nestled amongst the "1,000's of computer images I have stored on my disc, it seemed to stand out from the rest. I did the image some time ago. The bird of paradise photo was taken at a local greenhouse. The background photo is an unusual perspective of a pumpkin top. As the bird of paradise is centered on top of the pumpkin, all you can see are the pumpkin's outer edges trailing out. Originally, the image above was titled "Pumpkin Top Craze". I felt artistically crazy (not holding back might be a better way of putting it) when it emerged from my inner depths. Today, though, I decided to change the title to one more personally fitting my own path in life. I suppose each title works in its own way, depending on the changing moods one is in. I like how the two photos have similar colorations which seemed to make their merging into one a little easier.

I think I will work on the image above a tad more and present it Sunday at the Center's Holiday Art Show. The Show is from 12:00 to 4:00 p.m. I will be exhibiting my work there, along with many other fine artists and craftspeople. Frank, my husband, will be promoting his creative writing class too. There will probably be cookies and punch and a festive holiday atmosphere. Should be fun! For more info, click here.

So on to working on my Jungle phase. I feel I am walking on the wild side of myself these days, or so it seems. Bird of paradise flowers, orchids, parrots and whatever else wants to jump on my creative bandwagon, feel free. I am embracing all forms of subject matter now, not restricting myself, and it feels quite exciting! Perhaps a parrot will soon be landing on the Bird of Paradise flower. Creative license is so freeing, isn't it?

Orchids, orchids, orchids!

2009-11-09T08:22:00.000-08:00

"Spider Orchid"
Watercolor

"Moth Orchid"
Watercolor

"Orchid Hybrid"
Watercolor, digital paint tools

"Puppy Love Orchid Fantasy"
Watercolor, digital paint tools

Well, I could talk about the craft/art fair this weekend and go on and on. Doors opened and I had wonderful conversations with everyone who was there. But I think I'll focus here today on the orchid heaven I was in for most of the time. In the space next to mine was Don White of Anything Orchids. For his Website, click here.
I once had a reading done by a psychic who told me that in a past life I was an aromatherapist, someone who concocted magical, healing oils from flowers. Perhaps that is why I am so drawn to flowers. So I was delighted that I was located next to Don. The fragrance in the air from his intoxicating orchards was wonderful. Don kindly answered my questions about his varied orchids and then let me paint several of them. I was able to complete three images over the weekend. I realize that painting in a public arena alleviates my anxiety and puts me in my peaceful zone. I think Frank, my partner, realizes my mood change too. Right off the bat, he kept telling me to get out my paper and start painting. This cracks me up, but yes he knows me well. I wonder, though, if I appear aloof to those who walk by my area as I am creating. I make sure I am attentive to people who stop and look at my work, but I don't want to appear too much like a hovering salesman. Painting keeps me on an even keel. Balance, balance!!! Several of my fellow exhibitors commented that it must be nice to be able to paint to wile away the time at the fair. Yes, the day does go by faster and I am able to come away with several new creations. That's nice!

Anyway, back to the orchids. Last night, I was still filling a nice buzz from the fair and wanted to keep creating. So I scanned my original watercolors into the computer and then played around with some more as I saw fit. Note the word: Play. I did play around with "Spider Orchid" but probably in a state of fatigue or it could just be that I was so in the zone, I lost my second image of it (Didn't save it). I will tell you that in the second revised image the Spider Orchids were turning into butterflies. I guess we're all going through that transformation process, aren't we? Even Orchids get their stint! Don White says that banana spiders pollinate this particular orchid. Hm, so that's why it has a spider look, maybe? Interesting.
The second image, "Moth Orchid" was painted from an orchid cutting that had broken off. The flower itself is now sitting happily in a vase of water. Don says it will last about two weeks. Ah, the beauty of orchids in my abode, how nice. I did not touch up or change "Moth Orchid" in any way and left it as is. Sometimes a watercolor needs to be left in its pure state!
The third image, "Orchid Hybrid" is taking two orchid watercolor images and merging them together via computer tools and genetically painting a new orchid as a result. Hey, I'm a scientist, just like that! I think I combined "Moth Orchid" and Puppy Love Orchid" to make the new offspring. Isn't this what creativity is all about, birthing new children? To me, this image has a more abstract feel, which gave it a bit more mystery.
The fourth image is called "Puppy Love Orchid Fantasy". I really played around with some painting tools on this one. This was my final image I created for the night and I REALLY like the effect. Alas, now I cannot remember what tools I used to get this image. Yes, I was really in the zone by then (I'd rather say that than admit I might have been tired) so it will be one of a kind, I imagine.

So this is my segment on Orchids and how they creatively invited themselves into my life. Again, this was a good exercise for me to paint in the public eye and push myself. Over the weekend, I got several more inquiries as to whether I teach. Right now I feel I am still a student myself, continuing to bloom like the orchids residing next to me at the fair. And this is exactly where I need to be. If I hasten the process and overwater too much, I may wilt. Make sense?

The doors, windows and gates continue to appear in my life. I have the choice to keep them locked, bolted and shut or open them wide to embrace the unknown that lies ahead! A garden of orchids filled me senses and I am grateful for that!

"Reflections"

2009-11-07T15:06:00.000-08:00

"Reflections"
Watercolor, digital art tools

The universe works in strange and wonderful ways. I had basically given up on being in an art and craft fair (Holi-Daze) this weekend. It was full, no one had canceled and that was that.
Then last night I get an e-mail from the organizer telling me a spot had opened up. An exhibitor who was supposed to be in the fair got into an automobile accident and hurt her neck. She would not be able to make it as a result. Because of that, I was able to take her place.

I send her blessings for a speedy recovery and thank the Universe for opening up a door for me.
Life works in strange ways, doesn't it? As I said yesterday, you gotta believe!

So if you're in the neighborhood, stop by Lincolnway East High (Frankfort) on Sunday from 9:30 to 3:00 and say Hi to Marge and myself. Of course, the Bears are on TV and the weather is totally delightful but still.....

The image above is a watercolor I did of a woman's face and then added two separate photos (one of flowers and one of window glass) and merged them digitally with the watercolor. I posted it here today because it seems to "reflect" my mood, which is contemplative.

Keep all your senses wide open, because doors are creaking, beckoning us in!

"Parrot Phoenix"

2009-11-06T12:15:00.000-08:00

"Parrot Phoenix"
Watercolor

So a few hours ago I was grumbling and in a down mood. The arts and crafts fair does not have any openings for the weekend. It is totally full. Now this tantalizes me. It must be a good fair if it is full, the economy is turning around, people can afford to exhibit in these fairs. All the more reason for me to call again today to see if there were any cancellations and there weren't. She said to me "you must feel like you're on standby". Hm, I guess that's a nice way of putting it. Well I did wait till the last minute to submit my application. I was not sure if I wanted to be in another primarily craft fair after my last experience two weeks ago. During that 4 day event, I felt like a fish out of water. My work is art pure and simple. On the bright side, I suppose it stands out from the crafts. But that is not always a good thing when people are looking for crafts (esp. Christmas oriented). So this is how I justify my feelings of rejection today. Still, I want to keep pushing myself and had hoped this upcoming fair would give me a little extra cash and maybe some exposure to the public. So I pouted for awhile this morning, felt sorry for myself, wondered how anyone could reject my application and stewed and stewed some more. Then I heard something squawking at me, or so I thought. Oh, yes, the cockatoo, he wanted me to paint him and was trying to snap me out of my could care less attitude.

So I went over to the computer and began looking at the cockatoo photos. My blog post from yesterday shows the beautiful bird smooching with its owner. Still in a venting mood, I quickly began sketching a side profile of one of the cockatoo close-up photos. Pencil lines were swirling in a crazy manner. I had laid out my soft blue and orange watercolors, figuring I'd keep it on the pastel, monochromatic side. Calm colors to soothe me, to temper my crankiness. Well, those other tubes were jostling for position too so the next thing I knew I began painting the heck out of the bird. And it got pretty colorful.Sure, while I was painting, I was wishing that the "real bird" was posing for me. But would it have stayed in such perfect repose as a photograph allows it to? Photographs can also flatten an image, and compromise the dimensional effect of the subject. See, I was still wishing for more, not willing to content myself with what I had at hand! On the bright side, I did not feel the need to touch the bird up with photoshop paint tools. An accomplishment for me, yahoo! It looks more like a parrot now and less like a cockatoo, in my opinion. And in my metaphorical/ deeper symbolism mind, the bird looks to be rising out of the ashes, like the phoenix. Like me rising out of my miserable mood.

I do feel a little better now. Creativity usually does the trick in restoring my mood to one of a more positive nature. Is my crabbiness revealed in the parrot painting? Well, some of the red-orange colors drip like blood and there seems to be a scar on its face and body. A little of my dark mood released, I suppose. That happens sometimes, where my mood is transferred and released to my creation. I suppose that's why we as artists feel such a personal connection to our paintings, etc, as we do not hold back on our heart, soul and feelings during the process.

Be patient, parrot. ( I guess I could call you Carrot or Pockatoo to depict your two bird forms). No, at the moment, Parrot Phoenix will do. You are too pretty to hide. When I find the right venue to display you, you will be able to strut your feathers. In the meantime, shine here on the blog. And thank you too, for bringing a little sunshine into my life today! My mood is arising out of the ashes!

A Cockatoo Kiss and a Hug to Creative Spirits!

2009-11-05T10:50:00.000-08:00

"Cockatoo Kiss"
Digital Photo

I took this photo at a recent art fair I was exhibiting in. There is sometimes nothing more deeply felt than the connection between owner and pet. I liked this photo and several other close-ups I took of the bird with its orange coloring and blue fringed eyes. I may try painting the bird and then contacting the owner, as she has talked about meeting with me again some day.

I mention this particular event because it seemed to coincide with a demo last night at Town and Country Art League. I almost decided not to go, for a number of quite silly reasons, but then something in my soul said "Go" so off I went. And I was glad I did. John Tylk, a wonderful oil painter and pastelist (and exquisite animal portrait artist) was the featured artist and did a beautiful rendering of a lion portrait in just a few hours. Though I wished I would have taken a photo of the lion, below is an oil painting John has done, one of many commissioned pieces.

For his website and to see more of his paintings, click on the dog painting sitting just above here. Doris, I know you might enjoy seeing his work as you, too, have done some awesome animal portraits yourself. I also read John's biography on his website and his path as an artist speaks to my own artistic quest.

Starting out with a detailed pencil drawing, he proceeded to entrance the audience (and me) with his artistic ability. He also very patiently and, with a sense of humor, answered questions from the audience. (I think I asked about 5 question myself, hey it's a learning experience, right?) I particularly liked how he used mineral spirits to give a watery feel to the background. I suppose my watercolor heart felt a personal affinity to this particular technique he used. In fact, I may attempt oil painting again myself as a result of watching John paint last night. For me, that says a lot!

My friend entered the raffle to win this Lion painting that John did and when her name was drawn, there were tears in her eyes. She had scrounged together some dollar bills and change in order to become the proud owner of this painting. She is quite an animal lover, has photographed and painted a few lion paintings herself and felt a real connection to John's lion painting. Right before her name was announced, she was talking to me about how she would frame it and where it would hang on her wall. I sat next to her affirming that she would win and I do believe our intent to make it happen fulfilled the reality of it. Believe, you gotta believe!

I am glad I did not stay home last night. Otherwise, I would not have felt that little extra spark of inspiration. I would not have seen my friend's joy as she won the Lion painting. And I would not have gotten to know John Tylk, the artist and the person. I realize that we need the support and inspiration of others and if we live in a vacumn otherwise, our potential to expand may be sacrificed. I have often pondered doing either pet photography or paintings in some form or another. So now my interest has been rekindled and I realize that the world is so much broader and the sky is the limit as to potential.

And now to my easel to paint the Cockatoo. Do I dare try some oils or should I start out with tried and true watercolors? Perhaps I'll ask Spike the Cockatoo his personal preference. Whatever I choose, I know I will feel the joy of being creative!

"Mystique Memories"

2009-11-01T18:54:00.000-08:00

"Mystique Memories"
Digital Art

"Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens."

- Carl Jung -

I've been looking into my heart an awful lot lately. While there is pain to deal with, the joy that resides there as well is worth all the soul-searching. When I paint and create, I forget the emotions and just go into the bliss. I suppose that is a good enough reason to want to be in this particular state of being. Yet, I also want to make sure my inner child is getting nourished as well, which is why I trekked into downtown Frankfort yesterday.

I wandered up and down the sidewalks, looking at kiddies decorated in halloween garb, who were running in and out of various stores for candied treasures. I smiled at their energetic antics for awhile and then began gazing into the storefront windows I was passing by. One particular window had a display of flowers within its rather darkened interior. I am not sure if the flowers were real or not, but the creamy whiteness of them contrasted quite well with the shadowy backdrop. Condensation formed drips and drops of moisture that trickled in vertical paths down the exterior glass, adding a dreamy mystery to the still life. The scene quite enchanted me so I took a photograph of it. Later, when I got home, I downloaded the photo onto my computer and then played around with it. While "painting" blues, purples, pinks and other pastel colors onto the image before me, my thoughts suddenly drifted to the painter Claude Monet and his garden images. I especially was getting a vision of his water lilies. So I began talking to Claude, asking for his guidance as I continued to create the image. I've read that this is a good thing, to ask for blessings and inspiration from artists who have come before us. I felt his soothing presence swirling around me and shortly thereafter, my own artistic self took over. It was an interesting experience and one I wanted to recount here for future explorations.

So "Mystique Memories" emerges here and maybe a little bit of Claude can be found nestled amongst the flowers. And a Fairy or two may be sharing the abode as well! The possibilities of creativity are really endless and that is such a freeing thing........

Halloween Gremlins Meet a Fairy!

2009-10-31T10:02:00.000-07:00

"Halloween Gremlins Meet a Fairy"
Watercolor, digital art tools

It started out simple enough. A cute ittle fairy on a flower that begged to be shared here. I like creative cutsy outlets these days. Suddenly, it seemed a prankster invaded my being and I was pressing computer buttons and experimenting like there was no tomorrow. Every painting tool in the book was tapped into and explored here. The flower petals were created using a pattern brush tool, a handy little texture device. I tried to then undo some brush strokes and repaint others and had no luck. There was no going back!

So it's Halloween and I figured the spirits and ghosts and boogy men were up to their tricks. In fact, if you look closely, you might see some little haunty beings nestled into the background. I rather like the thicker paint strokes on some areas; there appears to be a 3D effect. And the flower heart on the fairy's center seems to please me. So, I'm not totally mad, just more amazed at the letting go of it all that I seemed to experience. All in all, experimenting and playing without thoughts involved.

I bet this little Fairy is ready to run for the hills, I mean Woods and go hide under a toadstool or something. Glad she was patient and tolerant with my antics today. Hope you all have fun with Tricks and Treats and laugh and dance through the pumpkin patch!

Tree Spirit

2009-10-29T16:40:00.000-07:00

"Tree Spirit"
Watercolor, Digital Photo Tools

The tree spirit wonders if she should remain hidden amongst the rainbow palette of leaves or come out to say Hi. I am this spirit, connected to nature, yet longing for balance. I want to stay connected to my artistic spirit which sometimes means withdrawing from the world. Yet, earthly matters call to me as well, forcing me out of my comfort zone. Sometimes I feel like I am being torn in two and pray that I will do the right thing. The wind rustles the leaves around me and soon they are falling gently to the ground. Then the branches and I will be exposed. Am I ready for this or shall I transform myself into a Cave Spirit where I can continue to remain hidden? I hear her soft voice murmuring "Only time will tell......." as the leaves continue to dance and twirl around. The autumn season has brought both beauty and melancholy into my soul. I await the changes within, seeking comfort from the tree spirit.

Some African Animals Brightened My Day!

2009-10-26T08:47:00.000-07:00

"Timba"
Watercolor

"Happy Cat"
Watercolor

"Owl"
Watercolor, Computer Paint Tools

The images above were painted during an arts/craft fair I participated in recently. Though the fair in general seemed light on the crowds, I decided to take matters into my own hands to alleviate some of the boredom and/or stress I was feeling at times during the event. The people across from us, Ethnic Arts Africa, (for their website click here), were selling wonderful figurines they had brought over from South Africa. Masks, paintings and assorted animal pieces such as giraffes, cats, elephants, alligators and owls filled their tables. We struck up a great friendship and, with their permission, I was allowed to take one figure at a time over to my booth and paint it. And, in the process, I learned how to interact with my fellow vendor and brainstorm on ways to help market both of our products. I even made a bit of a story out this, telling people wandering in that the figures had walked over to my booth, clamoring to have their portrait done.

This was a great exercise for me. I have done little painting when I am in a public arena (except for painting outdoors with fellow artists), so this was a perfect opportunity to stretch myself. My husband wanted me to sit right in the aisle so I could be more viewable to the public but strollers and people walking three abreast kept me staying a little more tucked in. And I was right next to the small cafe so there were some hungry campers coming through. As it was, at one point I knocked my water cup over. Well, I'm glad I did this myself but still....accidents happen. But, really, it was more than just being exposed to the public. I needed to feel safer internally, within myself. Art-making is a very personal experience, sacred even, and I feel I put my heart and soul out on the line each time I create. My inner child/artist needs to feel protected in order for me to access and tap into this deep part of me. I think creative types can understand this! Anyway, once I finished the giraffe, I felt more comfortable and was able to keep going with other images. I also painted a small fairy girl which Ethnic Arts Africa also sells (yes, they have a variety of merchandise), and I shall post this magical creature here in the near future.

I got some nice feedback on the creations above. Even kids and babies seemed charmed by the whimsical creatures. And isn't that what it's all about too, spreading the artistic joy to those who come into our lives? I pushed my creative boundaries, tapping into some resistance and then working through it and moving on. And I learned how to interact with my fellow vendor and brainstorm on ways to help market both of our products.

So I took a chance with this fair, with no expectations and came away rich with new visions and ideas. I do miss all my african animal figurines from the fair who came over to keep me company and am glad I have their painted portraits to remember them by! Thank you, Jan and Jack, for entrusting me with their care for a few hours. I am grateful to you both for helping my artist self to grow just a little bit more!!

"Pumpkin Garden"

2009-10-22T06:32:00.000-07:00

"Pumpkin Garden"
Digital Art

A watercolor I did recently of a pumpkin that implored me to paint it before a face was carved into it. The background is from an image of Monet's garden which I altered and played with. I was initially content with just the pumpkin sitting as is on a white background but then I decided to experiment. I chose the background because I liked the contrasting colors. Though the image here is rather small, if you look closely you can see many little faces emerging in the background. Perhaps one of them is Monet smiling down on me as I create. I like to think that artists from the past and present are always surrounding me in one way or another, giving me blessings and encouragement. Anyway, my surrealistic longings began to kick in (okay Salvador Dali, you're probably hidden in there too) and suddenly the pumpkin was melting into the water. Yes, this pumpkin had detangled itself from its vines and plunged into this liquid essence. Hm, quite a trip to go from Illinois all the way to France, such an adventurer.

Though I myself also dream of going to France one day and seeing the waterlilies and maybe some French pumpkins, for now I am content to paint and visualize this happening on paper. I cannot wait to hear pumpkin's stories when he/she returns. If, of course, I can get past the French accent!!!!

Believe in the Magic!!!!! Hey Linus and Snoopy, where are you?????

Opening Myself to the Moment, I Feel the Joy

2009-10-18T10:12:00.000-07:00

"Autumn Song"
Digital Art

It's the day after a "small" art festival in Palos Heights. Cold and rainy at the start, then things calmed down a bit. About 13 artists participated and it wa a cozy, small crowd of onlookers wandering around. Today I am thinking about process, how the art process of doing seems so fulfilling to me. The added benefits of selling your art is of course dessert. But I guess what I'm trying to say is by staying in the moment of one's life, there is so much to take in, so much joy. I sold a few things and had some wonderful comments about the pieces I shared yesterday. But so many more elements of the day have stayed with me today, which I write down here while they are fresh in my mind.

There was the lady with the orange and white cockatoo who so kindly let me take photos of. I have been so wanting to paint a bird such as this. And as an added bonus, the bird hopped onto my arm and calmly gazed around. What a treat. Though it lovingly? nipped its owner, it sat very peacefully on my arm roost. Some areas of the bird's body seemed barren of feathers and the owner stated that "Lou Lou", in moments of stress, would pick at her feathers. Yet, today, the bird was giving her owner kisses, seemingly quite relaxed. Perhaps it was the music, perhaps it was the loving caresses the bird was receiving. I walked away, feeling I had learned something. Maybe that we all have emotions, subsequent physical symptoms and have choices in how we deal with and overcome them. Three elderly men performed dixie music/banjo music/barbershop music for much of the day. I was right next to where they were performing, so it was nice to hear such happy music fill the air. They were so "in the zone" that I felt the kinship that creative souls know so well, that blissful feeling. "Wiggles the Penguin", a mascot, danced around with little kids and their excited giggles and gestures made me laugh. Later in the day, a younger woman stood by my work and made wonderful comments. One of the most interesting things she said was "that my work reminded her of the kind of art her son created". I stared at her son, who appeared about 7 years old or so. I felt quite thrilled by this, not offended in the least. I interpreted this to mean that my work has a more childlike quality to it. This is where I am attempting to go, to reconnect and embrace the playful me inside. Oh, and the sun came out for a few hours and Frank, myself and the lady I shared a tent with all sit in chairs under a awning, sunglasses on, feeling the warmth of nature. And there were other small moments during the day that if I had not been aware and fully present, might have slipped by unnoticed. So this is what I mean about the process, the process of opening all the senses and really taking in the wonder of it all.

I shall close here with just a few thoughts about the image above. A watercolor I did of grapes about a week or so ago and then I added the musical notes from a piano book of mine. The song is called "Harmony of the Angels" and to incorporate it into the grape image just seemed right to me, as my spiritual voice is clamoring to be heard.

There were a lot of angels walking around the art fair yesterday. Some were singing, some dancing and others just spreading their radiance by just being. May you find an angel or two in your own life!

2009-10-13T08:56:00.000-07:00

"Still Life Now Disturbed"
Digital Art

Yes, the title mimics the words just above the woman's image in the vase. I've been reading alot about surrealist artists lately. I've always enjoyed their "you have to look at it at least twice" to figure out what is going on. I like to "think" about a piece. Sometimes, though, this particular kind of art can get a bit dark and have sexual overtones. So, I'm kind of caught between fantasy/whimsical and surrealism these days. I have to let out whatever is necessary, though, to satisfy my creative muse. To be true to myself requires this. Still, it stirs up some emotional monsters within.

The image above is still a work in progress. The original painting done in watercolor was just the vase and fruit. After I scanned the image in, it slipped around and revealed some white areas around the edges. Well, suddenly I envisioned a stage of sorts and then drapes emerged and then the shadowing figure joined in (voila, the white was soon covered up). The woman was composed of two separate composites. The original painting of the woman had no head, just a body. So I found a face from another image I had done and added it here. The colors don't quite match yet. I'm not sure if that matters. Also, I touched up the shadows under the fruit and lightened them. I've been playing with this for a few days now. Don't know if I'll ever complete it or not. BUT, it is good for me to put a nude up here, no matter how small. Figure drawing was a vital part of my artistic path when I was in art school so I am getting in touch with it again. A lost friend wanting to reunite.

I find that my writing class is helping me to tell more of a story with my art as well. That is useful for me. Frank, my writing teacher and husband, says there needs to be a what and a so what in our writings. I think the same can be applied to the painting process too.

Yet, I find the image above a bit dark. I'd like to put angel wings on the woman or give her a nice white robe. A few sweet little flowers growing on the stage might lighten the mood. All of my artistic selves inside of me seem to be fighting right now for expression. I find this a bit disturbing. I will be still for a while and listen; perhaps a compromise can be reached. Otherwise, I'll just have to ride out the storm........ Who am I???????

Nine Lives of A Cat

2009-10-10T18:43:00.000-07:00

"Nine Lives of A Cat"
Digital Art

I spent some of the morning browsing the Internet. Reading about art fairs and how to be the best exhibitor you can be. Then I was reading about photography and digital art. Someone was talking about photography from a purist point of view. He said that maybe someone who did 3D animation art could actually be called a digital artist. All the rest of the people who paint and paste and alter photographs are still considered photographers. Whatever, I thought. I'm not much of an art elitist and categories that separate each of us into compartments bores me. It's all about the love of creating and to spend too much time in the Ego suppresses that energetic flow (my opinion, anyway). So with too much information overload swirling in my head, I was ready to switch gears and just play.

I had intended on painting something, anything, but the best laid plans go astray so instead I downloaded some photos from my computer. After looking at some autumn leaf photos, I decided to place one of them here as a backdrop. The cat is another photo I took. He's actually sprawled across a sidewalk but I only really wanted his face so voila that came next. And he blends in with the dark background making him a bit more mysterious. I like that. Then I found a painting I had done of a buddha cat (that's what I call him anyway) so he got inserted on the top here. (He is an afterthought which I may take out but for now he can keep the other cat company. I painted him a bit more brightly here on the computer because I wanted him to be the main focus and then I was done. I've been in an autumn/halloween kind of a mood lately so guess that's why my creativity reflects this.

Spook needed a few companions anyway. He's been lonely. I haven't been writing anything more about him and his adventures lately. So Spook, here's the next best thing. Why don't you all go out and sniff some catnip or something? After all, it's Friday night and time to party!

But don't get too hungover because the big night, Halloween, will soon be here and then you can really go prowling. Of course, with 9 lives a cat can afford to be a little more daring that we human types. Yet, I found myself today being daring with my creative muse and pushing myself. Oh, and I do call myself a digital artist, amongst other things, by the way. And I'm proud of it!

Hope all your fantasies are coming true and that you're living life to the max!

Dreams Left Behind

2009-10-08T08:41:00.000-07:00

"Dreams Left Behind"
Digital Art

Sometimes when the wind is swirling and the frost is on the pumpkins, I reflect on time spent out in Arizona some years ago, wandering the deserts. The Native American Indians selling their turquoise and coral jewelry along the canyon rims has left a permanent imprint on my mind. I see their tanned, wrinkled faces and the mystique of it all stirs up longing.

So when these feelings arose a few days ago, I decided to reflect on them in a more creative way. After tearing out specific words and images to mirror my own emotions, I set to work putting them on paper. First I applied matte medium to a small piece of watercolor paper. Then I painted the background with southwest colors of turquoise and adobe orange. From there I added the map depicting Native American land. The groups of letters and words I then affixed were chosen because I just wanted to use some ancient text. This symbolizes the love and pride the Indians attribute to their heritage, not succumbing to modern influences. For some reason memories of being a youngster in school called to me so the alphabet letters and numbers were attached. This may be related to my own love of learning and the intrigue I find in absorbing what other cultures signify to me. "Promises" is an affirming word to me. I may just one day get back to this desert land that so fascinates me. "Remembering" was added as personal memories swirled within me. (It's funny, though, as I sit here looking at the total image, " these yellow letters look like teeth on a face backdrop. It's almost as if an Indian with a tribal mask on is staring at me. And to make it even more mysterious and haunting, a medicine man or shaman. I feel a shiver run through me now, as I see something totally different and my soul rustles within. What an adventure the creative muse takes us on! I then attached some gauzy material over various areas of the picture. Finally, I added some dried flower petals to the center. Perhaps this signifies my love for the West. There is much romanticism affiliated with this area of the U.S. So yes, I have offered my own interpretation of what this image "may" mean to me. It allows for a more personal connection to what I create and hones my writing skills as well. All part of the journey I am on.

I was happy to create from this inner realm of myself. Releasing feelings and emotions is always therapeutic for me, yet keeps me yearning for even more release. To find the hidden treasures within. To seek more understanding of who I am. A cyclic process, yet never-ending. I hope someday my dreams of reconnecting with a place where I left pieces of my soul behind will come true. Did I just hear a coyote howl? Are there Indians dancing around a pile of burning leaves? Keep that fire alive in order to rekindle your dreams. I know I am.

A New Link and Some New Stories!

2009-10-07T09:25:00.000-07:00

"Creative Energy"
Digital Art

Off to writing class I go filled with zest and creative energy.And yes, even dolphins and porpoises can dream up a storm, don't you think? I started a new link to the right here called Writings-Poems. I just added the 2nd part to an ongoing story I had shared here recently called "Castles in the Sky But Dreamless. So please check it out. I'd appreciate comments, thoughts, or just a Hi!

Now I'm off to share "Wandering in the Wood's Embrace" with fellow classmates. It deals with a so-calleld "witch" who is searching for her true identity. (Hope to tie it in to "Castle" story). For inspiration, classmates last week shared words to use as possible topics. Bread (either money or the doughy yeast kind), taking chances, witches, and zoos all are subjects we can choose from. Or your own personal writings, of course.

And now I go wandering into the Center's woods. Hm, maybe another story in the making? I am always on the lookout for new inspiration! And if you ever want to stop into the Wednesday afternoon or evening writing class, you're more than welcome. No obligation, of course. But just be warned, you may have to sit and write a spell (or for a spell). Hey, Halloween's coming, what can I say?

October Roars in Like a Lion!

2009-10-03T15:40:00.000-07:00

"Lion and Cub"
Pencil, watercolor, and computer art

It did seem rather like a jungle yesterday at the Mokena Art Fair. The winds howled through the tents, and gray skies sent raindrops falling onto those who braved the elements. No, there weren't any lions roaming the streets, but rather dogs in every shape and size were strutting their stuff. Despite the weather conditions, which seem appropriate for this time of year, I enjoyed the day immensely. And I'll tell you why. It's really all about the people.

For example, I met a teacher exhibitor. In the three tents to the right of her own were several of her students. She said they had all rushed early to the fair so as to be next to one another. The teacher proudly introduced me to her pupils, beaming with pride as she talked about their abilities. Each student had a unique style and his/her own passion seemed evident. I marveled at the diversity and at the teacher's love of teaching. She just glowed!
Another art participant asked me numerous questions about prints. She sells originals only, gorgeous still lifes done in pastels (thought of you, Doris) and at a pretty hefty price. She is now considering the world of prints and greeting cards, in order to appeal to a more general audience. Having flexibility and new visions as an artist is growth empowering.
There was a grandfather who was taking his nine year old daughter (who is a wonderful portrait artist-he proudly proclaimed) around to meet the various artists and see their work. He said he often goes out with his granddaughter to artistic events to support her young aritistic vision. The art institute is next on their agenda. He glowed when he talked about his granddaughter and I thought "isn't nurturing and support wonderful to see". During a conversation with him and her, I gave them some tips on staying on a true artistic path based on my own experience. These "teaching" and "sharing" experiences made it all worth the raindrops that kept falling on my head, which I soon didn't even notice. Here I was in a "zone" and I wasn't even painting. Hooray!
We were closing up shop about an hour early because the weather was finally doing us in. A woman scurried up and said "oh good you still have that framed photo image. I was with my daughter earlier and she had her heart set on it. So, now, while she is gone, I'll buy it and give it to her as a surprise for Christmas". I did remember the daughter stopping by and gazing in awe at a framed trio of flowers I had on display. Her face fell when I told her the price but her mom was paying attention. Good for you, Mom! That seemed very special and meaningful to me, as there's something about someone giving my artistic creations as a gift (and a surprise, no less) that just opens my heart!
And it wasn't just people who tickled me today. Those dogs I had mentioned earlier looked like they were on parade for a judged show. All those new mixed breeds that seem to be the rage pranced up and down the road, admiring the artwork (or so it seemed). Owners happily let us pet them (the dogs, that is) and I was grooving on the unconditional love the animals gave me. Boy, I was feeling the good vibes around me, whether it was coming from two-leggeds or four-leggeds.
Oh, I forgot to mention the free breakfast. Free is always a good thing in this day and age. The organizer supplied the artists with bagels and cream cheese, huge muffins, fresh fruit and lots of hot coffee. It was a great way to start off the day. And though the crowds were light, the people who were there seemed intent on enjoying the creative sights that filled their vision.
So now, as I sit here typing, I am feeling a little soreness kicking in. But it makes me realize how good it is to be alive and share our art and our true selves with the world. It can't get any better than that!

So let your "lion" inside let out a mighty roar as you share who you are. But remember, the little cub sitting nearby. Still in that nurturing stage, like our own inner child selves. Balance!

2009-10-01T12:05:00.001-07:00

"Spook the Cat"
Digital Art

"Inhale. Let the Universe Support You."

(A message on Facebook from Sonia Choquette, a noted psychic/healer). My husband is a fan of hers on Facebook and I am just a fan period, and he passed this message on to me. FaceBook continues to be a way to send spiritual vibes out to the Universe, so I feel its usefulness as a positive communicator.

I went to my writing classes yesterday (afternoon and evening class). The last week's assignment had been to write something using the words: kitchen, destiny, fate, dreams, castles. These words can either all be in the story or just one if we so choose. I believe I put all of them into a story I wrote yesterday morning (yes, I always feel resistance and drag my feet, waiting till the last minute).I didn't plan the writing at all but felt my intuition guide my words, which flowed with many twists and turns. So here is the beginning excerpt from the story:

Castles in the Sky But Dreamless

Smoke filled lthe air from floor to ceiling, and I felt like I was in a fog as I stared through the haze. The atmosphere around me seemed conducive to my brooding state of mind, as I sat in the kitchen of my castle, dreaming of my fate. This was nothing new, the dreaming, that is. Nor the foggy mind that not even car headlights could permeate. Then I laughed sarcastically. Here I was in an exquisite kitchen, a place Martha Stewart or Emeril would die for and yet, I had never laid a hand on any item adorning the room. Recipe books lined a long marble topped counter, and their dusty aged covers spoke volumes about my lack of cooking interest. I never cooked in my kitchen, but would just stare around at the shiny polished pots and pans, marveling at their pristine qualities. I would see still life arrangements in my mind and feel the urge to paint the copper and silver items. But to prepare something to eat, never did that thought cross my mind. Nearby sat a huge kettle, and smoke continued to rise in circular fashion from it. No, there was no soup cooking away for hours on end. Just some strange brew made from potions I had gathered from the eccentric woman who lived in the dark house down the road. Why do you not light up your abode? It seems dark and ominous, i’d often ask her. She’d look at me with piercing black eyes and any more words I’d thought to utter would be immediately swallowed back down. That day she had held out her hand and several shiny objects glistened there. The objects had hopped, yes hopped over onto my own palm and now they lay boiling away in the pot nearby. Would I drink the brew, I pondered? Not while I was alone. For if it was poison and I lay dying, only Spook the cat would be able to nestle me out of my stupor. In a corner of the kitchen the cat was dosing, tail twitching in dream state, a purr emitting softly from pink pursed lips. Nope, Spook I could not depend on.

The woman in the story undergoes transformation as the story goes on, but it is implied rather subtly. I find myself wanting to write fantasy stories where lessons can be learned. We shall see where I go with my writings. And yes, images are floating in my head begging to be sketched or painted, to accompany the text, although Spook the Cat depicted above may already have a head start. I just added scribble paint to Spook's eyes a few minutes ago giving them a 3D effect. As the eyes are still drying, I shall perhaps expose Spook #2 in a future post. Creative license, don't you just love it?

As always, I welcome your comments on this story excerpt or anything else you feel like chatting about! And remember to breathe, for the universe is always there for support!

"My Lady Comes Forth"

2009-09-29T06:48:00.000-07:00

"My Lady Comes Forth"
Watercolor, photography, digital tools

Lately, I've been feeling the urge to bring people, especially women, back into my creative life. Portraits, half length, full length figures, it does not matter as long as they surface onto paper. The winds howl outside my window, shaking and rattling my environment and I pull my afghan more tightly around me.

The woman above mimics me in some ways, seeking refuge as well from the oncoming winter, looking for shelter in a nearby cave. Yes, the purple bluish area that envelopes the lady above was originally going to be a place she could protect herself in. Shielding herself from the elements of nature and also allowing necessary time to go within herself to seek new aspects of who she might be. But does she really need to do this? Perhaps instead she is emerging from her isolation. Maybe that is really a cloak around her that she will use as adornment as she mingles with life. Or maybe that purple that merges into her earthly body is her aura, her spiritual essence shining around her for all to see. The possibilities are endless and her dreamy face reflects this. Speaking of her face, I have always had a fascination with the renaissance and medieval historical time periods. When I was a teenager, I'd check out many library books dealing with that "romantic" time period and escape from my real world. And now, years later, it seems my artist self wants to incorporate that influence, via images and/or symbolism, into new pieces. I allow this to happen, going with the flow, not resisting. The background was originally a photo of some fall flowers and leaves I saw lying around somewhere. Yes, the autumn influence is seeping into my inner creative core as well. There seemed a bit too much green in the shrubbery, so I toned that color down to give more subtle contrast to the foreground image.

So I present My Lady here. One last thought. I often see little ghostly figures staring at me when I create something. My Lady might be one of them, but she wanted to be seen so she is bigger than most of the others that seemed to want to remain hidden. Perhaps this is a good thing on my part.Maybe aspects of myself, like My Lady, are springing forth from deep chambers. All I know is that my imagination continues to be sparked. Thank you, My Lady. Welcome to my time period, and please, show me the way!

Feeling the Spiritual Within

2009-09-26T21:01:00.000-07:00

"Opening Myself To The Spiritual Realm"
Mixed Media

I talk a lot about my creative process on the blog here. In writing class I am told to write what I am passionate about and I suppose the same holds true here; thus the day after day recounting of my artistic path. And besides, being creative connects me to my spiritual self and gives me that "bliss" feeling that keeps me going. Today, my husband asked me if I missed going to church. He's good at throwing these questions at me from left field, and a simple yes or no never seems an appropriate answer. I stopped going to church in 8th grade and creativity and nature became my source of church from then on. I suppose the fellowship and community is something to be gained from attending on a regular basis. I told my husband that when I did go to church, the highlights were watching the sun shine through the stained glass windows and listening to the organist playing resounding, reverberating music. I guess I really didn't answer him because he walked off, sat down at his laptop and began playing some computer game on Facebook. I, however, continued to mull the question. I guess I really don't miss going to church because it's within me in some form or another every day.

For example, I will be filling up my spiritual well tomorrow when I go to the Center. There I and four other Reiki practitioners will be giving people 10 minute "taste of reiki" sessions. This energy healing is meditative, connects me to God and feels very good. Sometimes the people who get on the massage table are in physical or emotional pain. The energy that comes to them from the universe through me (I act as a conduit) can be powerful and life-changing. During the evening, there is soft, soothing music being played, candles are lit and the Center's location in a woodsy area all play a role in setting a positive atmosphere. (There is a church feel in the air during this time). So for me, doing the reiki/energy work is a form of spiritual replenishment. Once a month, on the last Sunday, I look forward to healing myself and, hopefully others. In addition, it is amazing the "buzz" one gets from doing this kind of work. There is a sense of giddiness, call it joy, that fills you from head to toe and makes you crave more of these good vibes, for lack of a better name.

So do I miss not going to church, which I haven't done on a regular basic since 8th grade? Except for the occasional wedding or funeral that I attend, I find that there are other ways to sustain my spiritual path. Whether it's being creative, going to reiki shares, walking in nature, meditating or having a wonderful deep conversation with a good friend, I know I can count on these resources to help me cope when life gets a little crazy.

See, I hardly talked about art at all here. Well, there's always tomorrow.

May your spiritual light shine through.

I Got Attitude

2009-09-25T07:42:00.000-07:00

"I Got Attitude"
Watercolor, feathers, torn papers, inks
on matte photo paper

Yesterday was an experimental day. Originally I had printed Twiggins out on matte photo paper, which I usually do for prints. But I was running low on Magenta ink and the image came out lacking colors. The yellows were dulled down, for instance. So I decided to see what I could do to enhance the print. Now this would be tricky as the paper was rather thin. I've been told that collage/mixed media work needs to be done on watercolor paper or canvas, which is sturdier. But this was a test, I kept telling myself, for fun, so I first dabbed some watercolor on, followed by some colored inks. Yes, the paper was starting to buckle a bit, so I switched to other, less watery mediums. Prismacolor pencils helped brighten him up. Then I found some feathers bought at a craft store and a box full of handpainted papers I had constructed some time back. I felt good about tearing up the papers becaues they were still in their 8x10 original form and I had pondered thoughts of framing them. Now is that attachment to my creativity or what? After that first rip, it got easier and then I glued bits and pieces here and there on the bird, around the bird, and checked in with Twiggins to see what he was thinking about his make0ver. His eyes seemed to sparkle back at me so I proceeeded. Once the feathers went onto his head, I could see him getting an attitude. Attitude is a good thing, I thought, I need attitude for myself too. Not a cocky way of being, just more fearlessness, I suppose. Interesting. He was sharing himself with me and I was sharing myself with him. I knew I had transcended into another level when a more psychological sense of what I was doing was emerging. I had thought I would keep going and perhaps add some more colored papers but decided to scan him in as is and see how he looked.

The original Twiggins that I created loves to celebrate life. Twiggins #2, though a twin of sorts, wanted his own personality to identify him and make him stand out. The art process always teaches me something and here is what I learned from creating this bird. I need to access all parts of myself and not keep them hidden. I need to not be content with one aspect of me, in spite of its familiarity and safety. Need seems a bit hard-headed, how about if I replace need with want? That seems a bit more doable, softer.

Twiggins #2 has attitude now to keep going on his path. Show me the way, my bird friend. Keep that stiff upper lip and soar high!

A Hidden Gift

2009-09-23T07:20:00.000-07:00

"A Hidden Gift"
Digital Art

Lounging on petals

a fairy beckoned me in
and the world collapsed
but I did not care

- Beverly Bronson -

Just a fantasy image to start off the day. Yes, I will venture out of the flower to go to writing class today, wiping the pollen off of my face and the fairy dust from my eyes. And fairy may just decide to go with me. She wants to see more of my world! We are all one and can learn from each other!

Have a magical day full of wonder!

Butterfly Festival, Butterflies Everywhere

2009-09-20T18:10:00.000-07:00

Dahlia #1
Watercolor

Dahlia #2
Watercolor

I could write a book about my day today at the Butterfly Festival in Lake Katherine. But I'll keep it short (ha, ha, that won't happen) once I start writing, and add more later. I met a few of my art league friends at the nature preserve and took some early morning photos of the butterflies floating around in their butterfly net home. Yes, I felt like ripping holes in the netting and letting them fly free, but instead restrained myself and took photos of them perched on flowers here, there and everywhere. It was still rather peaceful, mind you, as the "crowds" had not descended yet for the 11:00 am opening time. So the butterflies still seemed in a rather zenlike mood to me and I meditated, with my camera, on each one of them. Hey, this is my idea of Sunday church, what can I say?

After I was done taking pictures, I grabbed my paints and watercolor paper and decided to attempt a little plein air painting. I'm pretty rusty, well actually two years rusty from painting with s group of plein air painters, but felt brave and wanted to step outside the box. So I plopped myself down off the beaten path of people swarming in droves everywhere, choosing to recapture the beauty of a peachy pink dahlia that was just bursting at the seams.

Dahlia 1 above is full of color. I got the basic outline down and then the creative zone grabbed me and every color I could get my hands on graced the paper. When I was done with Dahlia 1, I decided to recreate a more approximate image of what stood before me. Suddenly I had flashbacks of a Chinese brush painting class I took in Florida a while back and the painting strokes began to take on those characteristics I had learned way back when. So Dahlia 1 and Dahlia 2 are two impressions of the same flower that was bobbing in the wind nearby. They are so different, yet painted only within minutes of one another!

Anyway, a good exercise for me. I guess I'm not really very good at plein air painting. I get too distracted by the events and goings on around me, and today there were a million things to steal my attention. Still, I was proud of my attempt. But even in my hiding place away from humanity (or so I thought), several people stopped by. A few were friends of mine and that was fine. Another was a very elderly lady whose kids? dropped her off nearby so she could rest. Maybe they thought she would be okay with me. We struck up a conversation, I forgot her name but she said she lived with a bunch of old ladies, she had macular degenerative eye disease and couldn't see my painting very well but still liked it and was quite pleased when she remembered my name when she waved good-by.

All in all, a good day out in nature surrounded by butterflies, kids dressed in butterfly costumes and happy, excited energy. I'm glad I dabbled in photography and painting while at the fest. It seemed to keep my creative mood sustained for a longer period of time. I think next time, though, I'll seek a quiet refuge if I decide to paint outside again. As I was getting ready to leave the preserve, I noticed a stray butterfly hovering on a thistle nearby. An escapee, I thought, and silently wished him well as he took off, free from his net confines! I think that's all any of us want is freedom, freedom to be who we are!

Georgia and Joan, You Live On In My Heart!

2009-09-17T11:33:00.000-07:00

"Inspired by Georgia"
art collage

"To create one's world in any of the arts takes courage"
- Georgia O'Keefe -

Georgia O'Keefe has always been an inspiration to me. I have been to Santa Fe and seen the museum devoted to her. I have yet to get to Ghost Ranch, where she created so many fabulous paintings, but that is on my to do list. I want to walk on the grounds where she lived and feel that creative energy and spirit oozing out.

I found out recently that my college room-mate and now famous actress Joan Allen, will be playing the part of Georgia O-Keefe this weekend. On Saturday, on Lifetime TV, a documentary portraying the love affair between her and Alfred Stieglitz will be shown. I understand that there was a promise between Georgia and the TV station to make it historically correct. And why should it be otherwise? Though I don't get that particular channel, I am hoping to either have someone tape it for me or I shall go watch it with someone who gets cable. This movie means alot to me. To have my college room mate play such a beloved artist of mine is a double blessing. Over the years, I have lost contact with Joan, but am determined to connect with her someday. She does have a fan page on Facebook and I just joined the group recently, so we shall see.

As I'm devoting this post to Georgia, I happened to come across an old collage I did in a college art digital class. As I stare at the image today, I realize that I have added another artist painting a nude in the image. Like so many older creations I come across, I love to analyze the image and wonder why I did what I did. As Georgia gazes from afar, I ponder why I chose this other artist. Georgia did pose nude for Alfred, perhaps that is the connection. I see some bones lying in the ocean as well. Not the famous cattle skull bones she lovingly recreated, but bones are bones and well, what is Georgia without her famous bones? I remember traveling up to Taos, New Mexico and stopped at a roadside stand where a fellow was selling bones, bones, and more bones. I wonder if any of those bones were used in Georgia's still-lifes? Makes for a great story. Hm, perhaps I do have some material for a future writing... I notice some painterly effects I added to give the image a dreamy, more cohesive effect. And it seems the lack of color set a mood for this piece. How interesting, as I consider myself such a colorist these days. I am glad I was able to access this "old" creation because it does remind me of how much I have loved and embraced surrealism over the years. I know that this is one of the directions my artwork will take me. There's an inner knowing when one connects to something that just "feels" right to them, like a coming home of sorts.

It does take courage to embrace who we truly are, and I appreciate the quote by Georgia O'Keefe. Thank you, Georgia. Thank you, Joan. Your strong dedication to the creative arts sustains me on my own path!

The Pearl Within I seek. Dive Deep!

2009-09-15T11:39:00.000-07:00

"The Pearl Within I Seek"
Digital Art

Tomorrow is the beginning of a new season of Creative Writing at the Center. Click here to get more info. My husband teaches, or should I say, facilitates the group of writers who will gather weekly. Initially, I went to these classes to support my husband and help him run the group. But it opened my eyes to what a gifted, safe kind of teacher he is and I am so glad he shines his light on others. All along, however, he has told me that I am a writer and I have protested this mightily. I struggle with the writer concept, feeling it is hard enough as is to stay current with my artistic dreams. And being the experimental intuitive artist that I am, well I already have my hands full of creative mediums of a more painterly quality. But I must admit, I am finding some hidden gems within myself, through words, that I cannot express as a visual artist. So today, I am readying myself to make that shift to "writer" for tomorrow's gathering.

I chose the image above to represent and symbolize my "writer" self. The initial photograph was taken at Garfield Park Conservatory during the current exhibit "A Garden of Glass", which is created by Dale Chilhuly. More of his glass creations can be found at his website. Click here.
Anyway, this particular glass reflected in a mysterious way on the water it was floating on. It appears to be a spaceship, which tickles my fantasy fancy, but in this instance today, I shall call it an oyster. An oyster eminating energetic rays of creative life from the pearl that lays nestled within. I look at my writing process in the same way. I do not want to leave any hidden source of myself buried underneath. The healing qualities, the pearls, cannot be overlooked and I must dive into myself to recover them, pushing aside the seaweed of my ego which tries to trip me up. The words I added to the image as a warm-up for going into writer mode. So I take a deep breath now, go into the word processing area of the computer, and begin to tap some words out. I want to take a moment here to acknowledge Carol, a wonderful dreamy writer who almost daily has encouraged me to stay on my path. She inspires me with her writings as well and today I will go to her blog and remember the magic of writing, which you can access here.

Well, that is all for today. May you all dive into your inner selves and find those treasures that need to be stirred up and revealed. Think of them as gifts to the world and like a little kid, I cannot wait to receive them.

Reflections on being in an art fair

2009-09-14T07:58:00.000-07:00

Bev at the Tinley Park Art Fair
Photograph taken by Roving Photograph Bob

I'm feeling a bit sore and sunburned today, ah the aftereffects of doing something you love. Every art fair I participate in is different and unique and I suppose that is what keeps me intrigued. Well, and sharing my art with the world, how much better can it get than that?

We were in a new spot this year. That threw me off a bit. We were away from the entertainment stage and wine and cheese area which was disappointing. There was a wonderful energy last year revolving around that location. It's strange how one must get acclimated to a new spot. We had to hug our tent close to a curb so as to allow space for the artist neighbor next to us. The Park Forest Art Fair was going on at the same time as the T.P. Art Fair and apparently some of the artists who should have been in T.P fair chose the Park Forest Art Fair instead. So the two fairs on the same weekend left for fewer artists , more empty spaces and still tight quarters. Go figure!
The annual parade that goes down Oak Park Avenue took a bit of a detour this year. One of the the bands decided to walk up and down in front of the art fair tent locations. At one point they stopped for it seemed like forever and played music right in front of my exhibit. I got some great photos of the band members but the fairgoers either got trapped in my tent as a result or had to stay away from the area till the band moved on. So this was a mixed blessing to me, and rather a strange situation.
Earlier in the day, about 500 motorcyclists gathered at a nearby pavilion to begin the journey to Abraham Lincoln cemetary? (Hey, Elena, I was looking for you on one of those shiny bikes, ha, ha). This memorial, which they have done for the past three years, is dedicated to a young Tinley Park Soldier who lost his life in Iraq. The Cardinal (not the bird) was even there and gave a blessing to the motorcyclists before they headed out. The Cardinal earlier had participated in a mass celebrating a church's 75 years in existance (In Orland Park).
As always, it was fun meeting people. One of my good photography friends stopped by to chat and that made my day. I hadn't seen her in so long and the two of us stood next to each other snapping photos of the band members and each other. Ah, the creative juices really flow when two creative spirits are together.
I got a lot of compliments on how unique my work is. Guess what, even got a 2nd place ribbon and cash award for having a great art setup and wonderful art. This was a first for me and affirms me on my creative path. I am doing what I am supposed to be doing!
One lady asked me if she could send me a photo she took in Hawaii and could jazz it up and make it look painterly and "different" like I do with many of my flowers. I told her I'd try and will await the photo via e-mail.
I am always grateful for my husband's support there. Putting the tent up and taking it down and making the display presentable is so right up his alley. I wonder what it would be like to do this alone at a fair? It would be a different kind of experience, I am sure. But in the meantime, my husband supports my creative endeavors and I support his, so this is as it is for the moment.
I got about four people to take pictures of me. Being a photographer, I am always taking shots of others and forget about myself in the process. So I am grateful to have a few photos I can literally "call my own".
Like everything else, I wonder how this particular art fair will pan out for next year. It was small and cozy but somehow less lively than previous years. There were no kids dressed up in costumes performing this year and several other activities that made this fair whimsical had disappeared. I suppose if the fair was the same every year it would be boring. But yet....... Oh, well, enough reflecting here. I just wanted to write while the memories were still fresh. Have a great day, all! Be well.....

Inspiration From Those Who Surround Me

2009-09-12T07:39:00.000-07:00

I am preparing for an art fair tomorrow. I need to mat and frame a few more pieces, but right now my feelings and emotions (and spiritual guides) are telling me to take a time out and write about someone who I feel is quite special in my life. A creative being who inspires me to the helm.

This particular artist I am speaking of is Fred Holly. A wonderful acrylic/colored pencil artist who teaches at Vogt Visual Art Gallery at Tinley Park, Illinois, his playful fantasy images are a sight to behold. Several of his images (done in acrylics) are posted here below.

(Offhand, I do not have the titles of these paintings, sorry)
Created by Fred Holly

I remember stopping by one time and seeing one of his works in progress, a castle with a hot air balloon rising into the sky. I was awed that he had created his piece totally from his mind and I knew then and there that one does not always need an image to "copy" from. Our heart, mind and soul has a wealth of inner material to draw from. I left the gallery that day swept up with possibilities about an imaginative realm where whimsy and fairy tales come true. Yes, he was someone who helped inspire me to create fantasy images.

Not long after this encounter, Fred suffered a very serious illness, which continues to disable him. Yet, he keeps painting and teaching classes at the Gallery. The only thing he cannot do is frame his own pieces anymore. I saw him at a recent reception for an exhibit of his work and felt his inner glow. In some ways, he seemed healthy and at peace (at least, his soul did). His mind was sharp and his wit still evident. Yet, on a physical realm, Parkinson's had recently invaded his life as a "side effect" of his initial illness and the shaking was there as he sat on his chair. I took his hand and his sweet smile radiated across his face. Yes, here was the Fred I knew. The spirit within still shone through.

I thought to myself about his passion and continued determination to spread his gifts to the world. What else can he do but live his life with his creatuve soul? For me, it is a lesson, to keep creating no matter what. and to live fully in the moment. I feel that everything in life teaches us something. If the resistance comes, which I personally encounter, remember those who have faced even greater obstacles and continue to share their creations in spite of, or as a result of. It can put everything into perspective.

Fred, thank you for coming into my life. You are a wonderful role model for me and I am glad to know you. I offer this virtual rose from me to you. May we each as artists continue to pass on the creative torch.....

"Stop and Smell The Flowers"
Watercolor/Acrylics

P.S. His work is on display the month of September at Vogt Visual Art Gallery in Tinley Park. Please stop by and see his magical works. Oh, and come on over to the art fair on Sunday too which is just down the road from the gallery. Here's the link for more info: Tinley Park Art Fair. I'll be there sharing my gifts too. What a great artist's day, don't you think? And now, off for a few last minute preparations......

Belonging Yet Alone

2009-09-10T18:51:00.000-07:00

"Belonging yet Alone"
Digital Art Collage
Watercolor, acrylics, photographs,
torn papers and some digital painting

Some days I feel alone. I so want to belong and sometimes when I try, I do not fit anymore. Especially when I seek refuge in old ways, old habits that seem safe and familiar, yet have an eerie strangeness that makes me feel queasy. Change is necessary, but the anxiety that accompanies it is unwelcome terrain. I feel like a square peg in a round hole, forcing myself to be happy, which ultimately brings resistance. I crave and relish my uniqueness, but it is often an isolated, lonely path. I encourage others, but at the risk of either neglecting myself or not heeding my own advice. My moods lately have been extremely high and low. I suppose I am not numbing myself anymore or losing myself behind my glasses of denial. They say to get to the gold within ourselves, we must feel the pain. I suppose......yet, it can be rocky terrain I walk over and dark caverns I grope through. I had a strange dream last night with my father in it. I have never dreamed about my father, but this particular dream had frightening aspects to it that still lingers as today moves on. The past has been reawakened and I wish I could put it back to sleep. I am thankful for spending time working on the above collage, for it helps alleviate some of the demons within, but then again, it aggravates them as well.

The image reflects various aspects of me, I am sure of it. The spiritual side, the darker shadow side, the flower representing hope and new blooms within. Above the more shadowy figure is a photo I took of an architectural piece designed by Frank Lloyd Wright. It was taken through a window. It sinks down into the figure, offering some sanctuary and respite. Both figures are brooding, not meditating, but brooding. Sometimes that brooding sinks me down. The words "Love may be grand" that cross the figure are elusive at times, love may be grand and then again it is fleeting and slips through my fingers. Today is a strange day for me as a multitude of emotions move in and out. I am participating in an art fair this Sunday and know that my emotions increase tenfold when these events loom on the horizon. Though there seems to be more, an underlying nameless feeling that lies waiting to pounce. I hope making this collage will release some of what is churning within. Usually this works, but there is some deep residue to muck through.

Thankfully, tomorrow is a new day. And I pray my dreams tonight offer some peace. Thanks for letting me share here. It's a good release.

Eyes - Windows to the Artistic Soul!

2009-09-06T12:59:00.000-07:00

Today is the day after of an art fair I participated in held in Plainfield. I feel a bit sore physically, as setting up an art display can be a bit grueling. But emotionally and spiritually, I am rejuvenated by the event, so all in all well worth it. I suppose what stands out is the participation of elementary, junior high and high school artists at the fair. I was awed by their passion, enthusiasm and creative spirits. One of the aspiring young artists came by and struck up a conversation with me, sharing nice compliments about my artwork. She told me she did pen and ink art, so I made sure I told her to stay true to her artistic passion. Encouraging one another on our life path seems vital and I try to do that as much as I can. After all, I can't get enough of it myself and know how good it feels.

Later on I checked out her work and the work of other young artists displayed on easels and boards in the park center. They are all quite gifted and I can only imagine what the future holds for them. The art teachers seem very special as well and appear to be wonderful mentors. My new pen and ink artist friend and several other girls were also doing face painting in a booth nearby. Later in the afternoon, she stopped by my booth and showed me her dazzling blue eyes. Someone had painted her eyelids and when she closed her "real eyes", this is what the result was. How creative is this? Magnificant!

Several of her art friends were also raving about the beauty of another girl's eyes. These eyes were not painted on, but were natural. I can see why they were so complimentary of the eyes, which you can see below. There are wonderful lines and gold flecks in the pupil. Wow! And I can just imagine she is visualizing her next creative piece, even as I write these words.

As I mentioned earlier, these young artists were doing face paintings and I couldn't resist taking a photo of these butterfly eyes. Hey, I am known as butterfly woman myself, so I felt a personal connection here. Great artistic vision, so to speak, again a "true work of art". And someone seems very happy to have her face as the backdrop!

All in all, a very interesting day. I almost wasn't going to participate in the fair, but just imagine what I would have missed out on otherwise. I was so thankful to be surrounded by such joyful spirits. Sheryl, the Plainfield Art League President who got this event off the ground, always makes me feel so welcome and special. And to top it off, several reporters from the Plainfield TV station interviewed me and took photos of my artwork. The young reporter asked me where I get my creative inspiration from. Amongst other things, I told her that I am often inspired by the creative energy of others. And yesterday, well the eyes added their own special magic, putting truth to the saying that eyes really are the windows to the artistic soul!

How I Live My World

2009-09-01T08:11:00.000-07:00

"Field of Coneflowers"
Digital Photograph

A rather rugged hulk of a guy was staring for a few minutes at some of my images at the art fair the other day. "Wow, what a way to escape from the real world", he reflected out loud. I thought about his comment and yes, it is a WONDERFUL way to live. From his point of view, maybe an escape, for me just living my heart.

And so today "Field of Coneflowers" emerges in honor of this gentleman, a photograph taken at Lurie Gardens in Chicago with a few dabs of fantasy thrown in.

The real world collapes around me and all I hear are the silent voices within. I give them permission to dance in the coneflower field. Perhaps if I look closely enough, I may see that man joining in! All are welcome.

Participating in a lst year Art Fair!

2009-08-30T11:21:00.000-07:00

"Buddha Cat"
Watercolor, Acrylics

Today I'm unwinding, meditating, being like the buddha cat above. The day after an art fair I usually just ride the waves, slowly coming back down to as even a keel as I can. The art fair I was in yesterday was a 1st time event and I had no expectations. I feel better if my mindset is like that. But I was happily pleased with how the day progressed.

I had the bugspray, but there were no mosquitos. I was thankful for my layers of clothes, for it was rather chilly and breezy. Being in a woodsy setting, though, was peaceful and rather meditative. Early on, the people at the fair were mainly the vendors, the artists. As the afternoon wore on, the "crowds" began to trickle in. The advertising had been limited and we were off the beaten path which probably contributed to the light turnout. However, I was thrilled to meet Elena in person. Up till now, she has been a wonderful supportive on-line artist/friend. So when she walked up to me, hey, that was the highlight of my day. Really! And she bought a few of my prints, which was so sweet and affirming to my artist self. She is a GREAT artist herself and I hope one day to be walking over to her booth and seeing what wares she will offer. In the meantime, I am blessed she is in my life as a wonderful believing mirror!

I made a few sales, chatted with fellow artists and wandered around looking at the various things for sale. Jewelry, sculptures, paintings, photography all dazzled my eyes. There was live music and later on several of the "artists" came on stage and read some poetry. A diversified group of creative beings indeed! The art host provided pastries, fruit, lemonade (I yearned for hot chocolate), but no coffee. My husband went home and brought back a thermos of the brew which helped me to wake up. A librarian friend of mine brought her two kids. Her son is very opinionated (quite the art critic) and offered comments about several art prints of mine. It was hysterical. Later on his mom came back to the show again and brought my husband and I hot chocolate and bagels. What a peach she is. I gratefully accepted the warm sweet beverage. I still think people are what makes these fairs special. And I thank all who stopped by and said Hi. Made being there all worthwhile!

Oh, this was neat. A sculpturer who worked in clay invited people to stop by and make a little clay object. Each person's creation was added to a mound of clay and then at the end of the day the final conglameration would be presented as a memento of the day to the campground who let us use their grounds. Pretty darn cool. My only regret is that I didn't participate in the event. Didn't know what it's purpose was ultimately going to be but people were sure having fun playing with the clay! Yep, fun!

I have a week or so till the next art fair and then I may be done with art fairs for this year. That's a maybe, never say never! I hear a kitty meowing, it's buddha cat telling me to do some mantras and affirmations now. OMMMMMMM!!!!

Butterfly Kisses

2009-08-28T20:47:00.000-07:00

"Butterfly Kisses"
Watercolor Digital Collage

It's been a wild and crazy week. Tomorrow I will be in an art fair on the outskirts of Frankfort, in the boonies in an area that is a campground and nice trees all around. We were checking it out today and near the area a deer bounded out onto the highway and just stood there staring at us. We drove up to it quickly to make sure it would get off the road before someone might hit it. Still, I'm excited by how the art fair will be surrounded by Mother Nature. Neat!. I'm told to bring bugspray as there was a case of West Niles Virus there a while back, but it's "under control" now. Oh, well, never a dull moment as an artist. Bugs fly onto my wet canvas too so I guess everyone, even nature, wants to get into the act. I'll be by the entertainment stage, and I've been told it will be background music, not rock and roll or rap or anything like that. I don't mind being by the music area, because people are always wandering over that way anyway. And besides, I love to listen to musicians and support them, wonderful creative beings in their own right!

There will be around 33 artists, so it's a good sized group. And if no one shows up to visit us, we have each other to talk to and get acquainted with. That's right, I have no expectations about what will happen tomorrow. It is what it is, right? Well, it's free to be in this fair so if it rains or we're eaten up by mosquitos, it won't be too much of a loss. I suppose I should be hitting the bed, but I'm too wound up. Always that way before an art event. Excitement, nerves, anticipation and probably too much chocolate have contributed to my awakened state.

The collage above (I never know how to label my art pieces these days as far as mediums go) is just a little representation about butterflies and feeling free and flying high into the sky. I've been feeling pretty happy today so felt like posting something with butterflies. The butterflies I painted in a Chinese brush painting class a while back, the woman I believe was painted in acrylics from a pattern I saw in a book (I suppose it is copyright material) and the digital effects (with the boxes and the swirling lines) are the finishing touch. Just felt like playing around, taking a few different images and marrying them together into one.

May butterflies land on you often and give you magical kisses to start the day off right!

Take Time to Smell the Flowers

2009-08-25T21:20:00.000-07:00

"Flower in Vase"
Watercolor, Acrylics, Digital Painting Tools

Sometimes I worry that I will run out of creative ideas and that someday I will stop, never to paint again. That scares me, as creativity is my lifeblood, my spiritual savior. So, as I've been dong lately, I'll find an "older" image and see if I can stimulate it or it can stimulate me.

I found this vase I had painted I don't know when and decided to add a flower, I guess maybe a rose to it The vase seemed lonely so I wanted the flower to give it company. The vase also appears to be floating since there is no table for it to sit on. I am fine with that as it adds a more mystical, dreamy feel to the image. I added thin lines to the background to give it a more energetic feel. So I got my art fix for the day.

Take time to smell the flowers. I know I will........

Cosmic Frog healed me today!

2009-08-22T12:13:00.000-07:00

About a week ago I visited the Fabyan Forest Preserve in Batavia. The Fox Valley area is where I grew up. My parents both passed away about 10 years ago and I have felt no real inclination to visit my childhood neighborhood anymore. Except I suddenly had to honor a recent impulse to visit this particular preserve where memories of empty bear cages, tangly brush and vines that seemed so mysterious tugged at my child heart, who was so into imagination and fantasy in those days. My heart quickened as I thought about the adventure ahead. My camera needed a workout anyway, as I had not been inspired to take pictures for awhile. New opportunities awaited!

I was in a for a rude awakening, though. About 9 years ago or so, the preserve underwent a makeover, and the grounds were groomed into a neater, more "pleasing" appearance to those who sauntered there. Now I could see the fences that kept the once overgrown vines in their hanging half circle formation. My mind kept shifting to the past. No pavement, no stairs back then, just grass and weeds to walk through and stumble on, with resultant bruised knees.

"Entrance to Fabyan Preserve and Japanese Garden
Digital Photograph

The sundial which had lain haphazardly on the ground partially covered with overgrowth amongst the rocky terrain was now in a place of honor on a pedestal for all to see. The landscaped grounds formed a "pleasing" backdrop.

The bear cage and arena which had always given me shivers when I had walked through it seemed rather ordinary now in the bright sunlight. I take that back, I still felt a few chills run through me; the arena area still had its spooky charm.

"Bear cage entrance to Arena"
Digital Photograph

Everything had changed externally and I was jolted into the reality of it all, but my internal memories still burned within and I refused to let them ago.

I walked over to a swampy area and saw a frog sitting in shallow water. He was still, quite motionless and allowed me to get quite close for a few photographs. Here was frog medicine helping me to heal my now shattered viewpoint. I was grateful for his presence and thanked him for being there. On the drive home, I seemed lost in reverie, still shaken by all I had just witnessed. Even as I write this now, I feel a bit teary-eyed, but to put these words down is also cathartic.

After I had downloaded the photos from the trip onto the computer, I decided to transform frog and the background so I could somehow recreate those magical, childhood memories of the preserve. I "cut" some duck feathers from another photo and pasted it onto the frog's back. I'm not sure why I did this, perhaps just to give the frog capabilities of flying into the sky if he so desired. I also just thought it added an interesting texture to the rather "flat" form. I played with colorful lines, infusing the frog with energy. The lines made me recall silly string that we used to shoot at each other as kids and I laughed, remembering those carefree days. The background was created several months ago and I felt like popping the frog into that fantasy landscape. He seemed to like it there and I could "hear" him croaking with delight.

"Cosmic Frog"
Digital Photograph

I shall honor the child who I was and still am, and this image reinforces that. This creation helped me to heal and work through some emotions. My inner child went from despondent to joyful and all it took was Cosmic Frog to hop into her life. And people wonder why we are artists. If they'd just take a few minutes to create, a whole new world would open up and they'd get some answers and maybe a dose of healing too. Frog sure opened up my own heart and was just the therapy I needed.

Daylily Dance

2009-08-19T16:14:00.000-07:00

"Daylily Dance"
Watercolor, acrylic, gesso, charcoal pencil,
oil pastels, scribble craft paints

I suppose I should be painting autumn leaves soon. But I'm not going to rush the season yet. Leave that to the department stores. So in honor of the summer season, I found a photo of a daylily I took recently and used that as a jumping off point. Once again, I was going to find "art within art" as my artist friend Elena mentioned recently. The flower was red with a black background. All I needed really was the outline and then I could gather my art toys and play.

Originally, I was going to experiment with watercolor drips on a gessoed piece of watercolor paper. I hear that can give some cool effects, like letting the watercolor "stand" on the paper. But the best laid plans go awry and the spirit of creation guided me to create the piece above. Do any of you have that experience of planning to create a specific thing and then something totally different emerges? Ah, the unpredictability of the process. More exciting that way!

I used various tubes of watercolor for the beginning stages of the flower and background. I had a few shades of red paint I was going to use but got bored with that monochromatic concept (so to speak) and threw every tube of color I could find onto my studio desk. Tubes of acrylics and some bottles of scribble paint joined the crowd. Soon I couldn't even see the paper I was going to paint on. What a trip and a happy mess!

The scribble paint gives kind of a 3D effect and seemed to make the stamens dance off the page. They have a glittery feeling to them that adds contrast to the more subdued background. I was going to keep working on this piece, perhaps adding some "handmade papers" here and there. But that's another day. I decided to scan it in as is, which was rather difficult because the scribble paint is rather thick and I had to be careful as I closed the lid. And the painting edges got a bit chopped off as the scanner is only formatted for 8x10 paper. Minor details. The important thing is that I was happy, playing like a little kid. Playing, fun and being a kid are words I am so happy to be including in my life these days.

Celebrate! Let the creative party begin. Blow out the candles and may your wishes come true!

"Sparrow Transformed"

2009-08-15T10:50:00.000-07:00

"Sparrow Transformed"
Ink jet paper, matte medium, acrylics, scribble paint and
a touch of digital art

"Sparrow"
Converted to black and white from an
original color painting

I've really been feeling the whimsy and fantasy self inside of me craving for expression. Sometimes when I don't have an image to create, I'll find something "old" I've done and see if it can jumpstart me into new and different possibilities. And "Sparrow" just happened to be that guinea pig for my experiment.

The original painting was converted to black and white via the computer and then printed out on inkjet paper. I added a swish of matte medium to the paper and let it dry a bit. I understand that this is a necessary process so that the inks don't run if you want to add more mediums like paint to it. Well, that was certainly the case with me. Some scribble fabric paints, a few goldish colored acrylics, and a dash of digital art paint to the recipe and voila, out came "Sparrow Transformed". Perhaps a more apt title might be "Hummingbird" due to the rather long beak. Hm, perhaps he is like Pinocchio and has told a small white lie. Nah, he's a good little bird! He's also a tiny little guy, only about 2" x 2" so to try to make him bigger would give him some pixels, some abstract little squares all over his body. He was content with his makeover, though, and really wanted to remain tiny. Ah, so be it!

So I leave both of them here as they are. I may work on the top image in time, perhaps adding him to a collage as he is so tiny. We shall see. My inner child was happy playing in this fantasy world where anything is possible. And as you can see, whenever you are creatively stumped, open your eyes and look around you. There may be a little creature chirping in your ear, waiting for a makeover!

Which Begonia Really Speaks To Me?

2009-08-09T13:15:00.000-07:00

"Begonia Blooms"
(Original painting done in watercolor)
16" x 20"

"Begonia Blooms 2"
Watercolor, digital art tools

I don't know if it is the heat that is making me question my creativity today or maybe it's that I am being fussier about putting images onto my new Etsy shop. If it's the latter, I have to be careful that I am not thinking too much about my audience, for to be external for "approval" is courting disaster. This could lead to my inner creative child going back into hiding somewhere deep inside of me, and taking fun and play with her.

I was staring at a begonia I had done in a watercolor class last year. It's one of my biggest creations, around 16" x 20". My teacher at the time really pushed me to try something bigger like this and I was scared to death at the time. But I worked through my fears and was quite happy with what emerged. It's a rather colorful, fantasy piece and I dropped some salt onto the background to add some unusual effects. But, somehow, it still seemed to lack life as I gazed at it today. Maybe it's just that as I grow as an artist, I find myself unsatisfied with my "older" creations. Or maybe, it's because this piece reminded of times when I needed a teacher to guide me and now I wanted to do it myself, without any input from someone else. Nevertheless, whatever the underlying reason, emotions were stirring up within me and I needed to pay attention to them. Awareness is a good tool in my creative journey these days.

The beauty of digital art tools is that they allow me to scan in an old image, and once on the computer, tweak it as I see fit. Yet, I can still keep the original, untouched, framed, in a place of honor hanging in the living room. So it's a win-win situation. I get to be creative with something I've done in the past, yet still hold onto "my baby" as it was originally birthed from me. (Hm, do I sound a bit clingy here or what?)

I showed my husband the newer, digitally tweaked image and he thought the background on the right side was rather lifeless, maybe muddy? I cringed at these words. Usually, he's quite positive about the images I share with him, but when he's blunt like this, yikes! He has a good creative eye, but sometimes we butt heads on our individual visions. I rather like the contrast between the brighter flower and the more neutral colors that surround it. It's actually the negative imprint of the original. The center of the flower originally had a little bit of white in it and I digitally painted some orangish red into it. Those complementary colors against the teal blue flower added a bit of punch, in my mind. So now, I'd like to reach out to all my wonderful friends who come here and visit and get your input. Begonia #1, Begonia #2, both of them or neither of them appeals to you? Hm, in our artist way group, we are discussing "the importance of creative support". How synchronistic and relevant to what I am going through in these last few days. Very important, is my answer!

And now for a nice cold drink of something to cool off my brain cells, creative cells, and cells in general!

Horse Spirits

2009-08-08T16:13:00.000-07:00

"Horse Spirits"
Watercolor, Digital Effects

Today was a play day for me, experimenting and creating in whatever way the spirit moved me. Originally a watercolor of horses running through the plains in sunlight, I decided to change the mood and tone to a more mysterious one.

I tried printing the image out and it seems to have lost some of its color and impact. Althuogh it is supposed to be ghostly, so why would I be looking for dazzling color? Oh well maybe this was just for practice. I can't expect everything to be a masterpiece, but I had thought it might be something to post on Etsy, but if the print looks lousy......Any thoughts from you all out there?

Ah, the magic of the West. As I was working on the image above, my mind drifted back to a time when I saw some wild mustangs running across the landscape somewhere in Montana, I believe. At the time I thought what I was witnessing was a mirage, but maybe, just maybe they were horse spirits kicking up dust.

Fantasy and magic, I welcome with open arms!

Admiring the Work of Others

2009-08-03T19:37:00.000-07:00

I went out to my college ala mater, Governors State University, to check out some new sculptures there, specifically in the area called Nathan Manilow Sculpture Park. Go to their website (http://www.govst.edu/sculpture/ ) for more details. Though I don't create sculptures myself, I do appreciate it as a wonderful medium of expression. I believe they have 26 different exhibits, constructed over the course of 30 years, scattered on the lands surrounding the university, which gives the place a real nice arty touch. The latest sculpture addition is called "Horizons" by Icelandic Artist, Steinunn Thorarinsdottir. To get to these sculptures, you have to go down a path to the left of a small lake. I was like a little kid, excited by what I'd find at the end of the trail.

After a few minutes of walking through flat lands dotted by sunflowers and hollyhocks, the sculptures came into view. Several of the figures, cast in iron, can be seen in this photo. There are 12 figures total scattered throughout this area. Sorry the figures are so dark, blame it on the bright sun, can't be me, right? See the building behind them. That is where I went to college. I received a degree in psychology, but they've got a really nice bachelor's and master's program in art there as well.

Here you can see the sculpture in better lighting. This one is perched on a nice rock bench. He likes the tree because it provides shade. Okay, I said he and this is what I want to mention next. These are 12 "ungendered" human figures, according to the artist. Still, I blushed a bit as I stared at them in their birthday suits. To elaborate on the sculptures' meaning, his work touches on themes of loneliness and isolation. Threads of hope are inspired by glass inserts that provide an aura of spirituality. After I found this out, I looked at the figures with "different" eyes. I saw these inserts on the front and back of the figures. The next close-up should reveal this in more detail.

Glass Insert at bottom of above photo

I'm not sure, but I believe there are 6 figures in this photo. I was alone for awhile with these sculptures as my husband went wandering off. It felt just a bit eerie, they really have such a human feel to them. Would they suddenly start walking towards me? Would I turn into an iron figure myself? My mind was playing tricks on me. I think it was time to find my significant other!

Another path leading to the next sculpture called "Bodark Arc" by Martin Purvear. They say this particular sculpture, called Land Art, is best viewed from the air. Well, maybe next time I'll rent a helicopter or something. Anyway, this next piece uses earth, wood, osage orange trees, asphalt, stones and caset bronze. Wow, so many materials and probably alot of love went into this creation. So let's walk up the path now that I've given you some info.

Here's a small, cast bronze chair found at the end of the path. Its design is based upon a West African elder's throne. Pretty mystical, right? It's nestled into the trees and osage orange trees are sculpted around it, which I'll show you in the next photo.

Pretty neat how the branches are arranged as part of the sculpture/land art. I liked the mysterious feel of this area.

Well, yours truly could not resist sitting in the throne. I wanted to see if I'd get some magical powers or something. Maybe my next painting will reflect something strange and powerful. Stay tuned. There are 24 more sculptures scattered on the grounds, but these two I examined in detail I had never seen before, so I focused on them.

All in all, a good day. I am proud that my school continues to take art seriously. For 30 years now, they have had Masters of contemporary sculpture come and create unique pieces of art. It was fun to go down memory lane and to learn more about land art and sculpture in general. In October the artist who created the iron human figures will be speaking at the school I think it's time to mark my calendar.

Path of Least Resistance

2009-07-30T10:54:00.000-07:00

'Path of Least Resistance"
Digital collage

I have broken through many, many walls of resistance and have finally opened up an Etsy On-line Art Shop! If you click on the link to BevsArtCreations, you can see a number of my art babies there. (Yes, I still feel protective of them). Once a creative mother, always one.

I cannot believe how much I dragged my feet getting this shop going. It brought to mind how hard it was for me to start blogging. But like the blogging step, once I took ACTION and put monkey mind to sleep, I became like that little train engine that could, gaining steam, (yes, I can, yes I can). Putting that first image on the shop was the hardest step but now I cannot stop. In the last three days I have posted, I believe, 8 images. So I feel a wonderful sense of accomplishment and full of energetic tension as I write this. But in a good way, believe you me. By the way, thanks to all my supportive friends and believing mirrors who cheered me on throughout this. My heart goes out to you all.

I created the above image about a week ago. It has a nice abstract feel to it, reminiscent of Jackson Pollock or Miro (if I've got my artists right). It seems appropriate to post it here today and I will tell you why. The arrows represent direction and focus down my path. Though they seem a bit haphazard, the arrows represent how I twisted and turned and lost direction as I worked to get the shop going. Millions of excuses jumped in my way, each one seeming more important than the last. Quenching my heart's desire always seemed to jump to the bottom of the things to do list. As I stare at the image above I see a black stick figure with pink lines extending from the round head. There also appears to be an upside down heart being held in the left hand (hey, I'm left handed what can I say). I feel the "open" heart represents my being open enough to share my art now with the "world". The figure appears to be flying high in the sky holding onto a black line extending from the hands out to the edges. I suppose the line could represent the path or maybe it could be a grounding cord to earth so "I" do not stay forever in the clouds. But what better way to spend the day? By the way, I welcome your interpretations about what you see in the above image.

So, I am glad l did not give up and let resistance conquer me. It's not always easy to follow a path with heart, but the rewards so outweigh anything else. Follow your dreams!!!!!