freezing buns off, but heart was warm

Art fairs are challenging. On the positive side, they are each so unique that one can never get bored. Even being in the same fair year after year is never predictable. The people who exhibit, the people who come to look at one's art, and the weather Gods all change, even if it's just slightly.

Yesterday's art fair had its own logistics to deal with. Six of the exhibitors were on one side of the road (next to Aldi's). The rest of us (the other 5) were on the Jewel side (across the street). There was very little foot traffic as the day wore on. Would it have made any difference if all the exhibitors were on the same side of the street? Hard to say. As it was, the weather was blustery, cold and there were sprinkles off and on (Hey, at least it wasn't snow).

I did sell two small prints to a mother and daughter who enjoyed listening to me describe my art technique. They asked if I'd always been so talented. I said I'd drawn in high school but had drifted off the art path into the business road. In the last three years or so, I've been reborn into the art side of me again. The daughter is an aspiring artist who I encouraged to keep creating. She smiled at me gratefully and seemed more upbeat about her own artistic path. The next onlooker who came by was a young woman, very pregnant, who was expecting her new baby boy in about a month or so. The wind blew some of my prints off the table and she awkwardly yet still skillfully, reached down to pick some of them up. I was amazed at her agility. She liked one of my prints, but didn't have the cash or check on her at the moment. She asked "could I take a photo with my camera phone and show it to my husband? Maybe then I'll come back later with money and buy the print?" I gave her the okay on that but she never came back.

Well, maybe she did come back but we shut down shop around 3:30 or so. All of us on the Jewel side pretty much gave up. Our hands were frozen, our cheeks were frostbit (or so it seemed) and we were tired of our tents being like sails on the sea.Really, outdoor art fairs in October is pushing it. Shoppers coming out of Jewel just seemed to be focused on getting to their cars and not being blown away. Makes sense to me. After dismantling our tent, Frank and I then went across the street to the Aldi side and helped a friend of ours take her tent down. She expressed gratitude. Helping others, whether physically, emotionally or spiritually, always makes my heart happy.

I had no expectations about the fair at all. I just wanted to push myself, exhibit in a new location and keep on getting myself out there. I made a few new friends, got to see the new art center with some wonderful art on display and breathed in some fresh air as well. Another adventure under my belt.

One day at a time.......

my artwork is hard to toss out

I often wonder at those situations say when a house is burning down and a person has time to get out one or two things. Lots of people say they'd take photos.
Well, my place is not burning down but I am getting rid of lots of things, simplifying for the next abode we go to. Books are precious to me but I have so many. So I'm donating them to my library, which I dearly love to go to. They'll be happy there. Now mind you, I haven't let go of all of my art books. Books on Monet, Matisse, Georgia O'Keefe and several others of my favorites still line my bookshelves, for now anyway.
Clothes, well, clothes fill up my closet and they're outdated, I've outgrown them so time to discard everything but what feels "real" to who I am now. That can be a challenge as I wear many different hats. Don't know about the business side of me, that voice is quite small inside of me. So I'm donating most of them.
Now we come to art. This a tough area to focus on. I have original paintings unmatted, unframed in portfolio cases, I have a number of totes filled with framed pieces and I have lots of prints which I usually sell at art fairs.
Today I was in an art fair and sold two prints. Frank says to the people who wander by "everything must go, make an offer" and people laugh and smile. But he is serious. I have just started selling my originals and put price tags of $600.00 on them. Hm, guess I didn't want to sell them. But now in the last week or so, the price on them is $100.00 and less. Am I dismissing my artistic abilities? I don't think so. I'm just trying to make some money so I can pay bills, continue to make art and just generally stay positive.

Just curious, would you all have the same dilemma as myself if you were in this situation? How would you cope?

"Angels Amongst Us"

"Angels Among Us"

Watercolor

I was at a resume writing workshop last night at our local library. During a break, a woman who had attended the same college as myself and knew many of the same professors, struck up a conversation. When I told her I liked to paint, she said "that she knew I was an artist, don't take this the wrong way, but you look like an artist." I took her words in, thanked her and later mulled on what she had said.

Yes, I was wearing jeans, a sweatshirt and some beady necklaces last night, so physically I might have looked the artist part. But this woman also said she "felt" I was an artist, she could feel it coming from me. And I realize as I accept myself more, it becomes evident to others as well.

This is a good thing because as I learn to write resumes, apply for jobs and go to job fairs, I wonder if the art side of me disappears for awhile so I can be this "job seeker", this adult.But why do we have to shift to this adult role? Why can't we be childlike in everything we do, looking at all of life with wonder-filled eyes? Something I'm trying to incorporate into my daily life. No, the child sense of me can still be there; it does not have to take a time-out and disappear for awhile so the adult me can take over. My adult/parent self takes my child self's hand and we walk together moment by moment no matter what we are doing. Not abandoning one another, not thinking less of the others but realizing these are all vital parts of my whole self. Loving myself, that's Number 1, of course.

I do believe in angels and feel their presence in the human forms around me, like the lady last night. And then I remember another woman, recently, at an employment office, who said to Frank, don't be so hard on her, when I was filling out some documents and got frazzled. I looked at her gratefully and gave her a hug. Another angel. And of course all of you who continue to support and sustain me and check in with me, well you're all angels too.

These "spiritual" presences help me as I continue on my path. To not waver, to stay true to myself and put one foot in front of another. And of course, my heart is a beacon of light showing me the way as well. I am never alone and this is reassuring.

The Spiritual, Knocking on My Blog Door

"Dragonfly"

Watercolor

I've been in a state of crisis lately. That seems harsh, let's call it inevitable change. During these times, I want to fly far away into the sky, like the dragonfly. It's as if the spirit is knocking me on the head and saying "Wake Up and Listen To Me". I peer at the dragonfly and note it's little hands almost in prayer position. Hm, perhaps the spirit "is" making its presence known in my artwork as well. If nothing else, this is reassuring and I don't feel so alone during these dark nights of of the soul.

As I become more aware, less in that "asleep" state, I notice stronger signs of the spirit in Frank's blog "7 Miracles" and in Elena's "My Quest" blog. The blogs of Doris and Laura have shown how the spirit can be found in nature. And there are other blogs, many more, that I read and which sustain me on my journey. Each of these fellow bloggers seem to be in a state of evolution, searching for a deeper connectedness, and I feel I am joining them. Their words give me hope and comfort and I feel peace after I leave their sites. I feel my blog will be taking a new turn and, as a result, reflect on my daily moods and process, wherever that will lead. I am grateful for the internet, which gives me a sense of interconnectedness when I'm feeling so disconnected within myself. If I give it time, the disconnect leaves and I am then one with myself. Patience.....

When I feel loss of energy as I face the external forces outside of me, I know this is a sign to go within myself, to refresh and replenish my soul. I find myself meditating and praying and reading inspirational/spiritual books as a daily/sometimes hourly practice. These offer me peace and respite, soothing me into calmer waters. Well, my artmaking soothes me too, of course. But the healing vibes are not always there. Sure, I go into that zone which to me is a place of nothingness, but now I really want to "feel" the passion when I create. Maybe working on bigger canvases like Elena is doing will help me. To let the brush dance on bigger dimensions. To play. Ultimately, to soar high, to dance with the angels.

I danced with an angel (young artist) yesterday at the Autumn Fest. She made a card depicting a pumpkin patch. I guided her along, but she did the actual creating on the paper. It felt good, different, hopeful My heart felt blissful, seeing her glowing eyes, sharing the connection of art. She was intrigued by my artwork, and then stated that she wanted to be an artist too someday. This made my heart sing, to touch others in this way. Then I thought of a friend's comment "I would just burst out crying with happiness if someone said they loved my art". Her words jolted me for a minute and made me wonder if I had lost some of that deep joy that happens when I hear positive words. Am I taking this aspect of art and sharing for granted? Hm....

I am realizing that natural settings help me in my process. Not an office, not a classroom do I need at this moment anyway. To heal, to create, to guide others seems to work best for me when things are unstructured, when daily occurrences just happen without preconceived expectations. I feel less stress, less pressure. When life is just flowing. And perhaps just continuing to do other spiritual practices will jumpstart me as I dive deeper into my heart. Then I won't have to be squeezing my art to death, looking for clues in my creations that my spirit/heart is emerging. It's an evolution and in due time, with patience, I hope that love will overcome the fear and my heart will open wide to art, and my spirit, without inhibitions.

I feel this continues to be an ongoing process, but now recognize the need to share more deeply of it here on this blog. I can ask questions of others and observe how they walk their path in life (through blogs, for example) and that helps, taking bits and pieces of what resonates with me and filtering them through my own personal perceptions. But ultimately, in the end, it's up to me.

Landscape from my Childhood

"Landscape From My Childhood"

Digital Art

I found an "old" watercolor abstract painting I had done many years ago. Then I decided to incorporate the balloon photo. This is a partial photo taken from a young clown boy's waist where he had all these balloons attached. Soon he was blowing up the most magical animal critters and fantasy things you had ever seen. I was blown away and totally delighted. The faces of those watching was priceless. Well, anyway back to the image. I added some squiggles and drips via photoshop paint tools to tie the two images together.

Once a child, always a child. I never want to lose that in myself!

Peacock Pose

"Peacock Pose"

Watercolor

A recent painting I did. I rather overworked the colors at times to get the darker tones. Watercolor can be so light and transparent it is often necessary to heap layers of color on top of each other. I could have added the tail and all the "eyes", but sometimes less is more and I just wanted to stay focused on the face and upper body.

The background was created by flicking big and small drops of color onto the paper. The peacock has a strength about her. I was feeling low energy right before I painted this and then somehow got some strength flowing through me during and after I was done painting.

Ah, the wonders of painting. My lifeblood!

She Seemed In a Dreamy Mood

"She Seemed in A Dreamy Mood"

Watercolor, Pencil

I'm dusting off the cobwebs of my blog today. It's been awhile, guess I was taking a timeout without really telling anyone that I was.

Sketched the young lady above in pencil and then decided to add some watercolor to her. She had dark hair and a black outfit on so the color was crying to me.

I liked her pose, she seemed gentle and reserved. Like someone from Medieval times or the Impressionistic Period. There were seven of us sketching her. At first I felt intimidated by all the other artists and the close quarters. I found myself glancing at the other artist sketches and feeling mine wasn't good enough. After realizing that my ego was trying to wreck havoc with my creative time, I opened my artistic heart and it was just myself and the model.

Amazing the lessons I learn about myself. A lifelong education.