"Angel Meditation"
Digital Art

The other day in my writing class, one of the ladies said to me, "Let me know when you have found what you are looking for". This was after I had just read still another piece about myself and my journey thus far. Searching, always searching, looking for the meaning of who I really am. Actually, I'm kind of tired of looking for "it". I think "it" has been inside of me all along..... And then another classmate turned to me and said, "I miss your fairy tale stories that you used to write." Hm, do I like to write about my emotional process or would I rather just drift into fantasy land? Whatever the outcome, the process continues and like the angel in quiet repose above, I ponder my purpose here on earth. Ultimately, it's really about love, don't you think, and nothing else matters. I swear I just saw the angel in the above image nod her head. How nice to be affirmed!

Speaking of being affirmed, it will be great to be stepping out of my winter hibernation and sharing some of my newer pieces at a local gallery in Tinley Park, IL for the month of March.
Interacting with others, talking about my creative process, that's very affirming to me......The angel image above, along with several other photos depicting fog, ice, condensation and windows will be featured. March 5th 7-9 p.m.reception, Vogt Visual Art gallery, come on out and say Hi!

Where's my Heart?

"Where's My Heart?"
Digital Art

With life (and some fear emotions) getting in my way, my heart and art went down under for awhile. (To Australia to see Uta? Maybe). Yes, when I'm in these moods, I want to run far away or sink deep within myself. Last night, watching the Olympics, I thought, "let's move to Vancouver. It's so beautiful." My partner says "Beautiful, but too cold..... Still, the possibilities are there. Don't have much holding me back here. That's how I feel when I get down in the dumps. The last few days, though, I've been in recovery mode and am beginning to see the light again. Walking through the fear, taking actions somehow lessens the turbulence I feel. New opportunities are a possibility in the near future. In the past, "what's the use" was my mantra. I'm tired of this albatross. Now I say "I want to live again, feel the passion". And I want to trust and believe in my process.

My inner child was happy making this piece with me today. She liked the bright colors while I seemed determined to keep a bit of black adorning the image. My psychology/deep inner self scanned the image after I completed it. I like to do this, it gives more meaing to what I create, more connection personally to me. I think the black represents me mourning some parts of me dying away which seemed a necessary process. There's a rainbow tool I used, a computer element that made the rainbow circles on the black. There is a light at the end of the rainbow, my art proclaims to me. Yes, rebirth, new beginnings, transformation all making their presence known too. I'm paying attention to my inner child and responding to her needs again. I feel her tentatively dancing inside of me, ready to spring loose. "Is it safe yet to come out" she whispers to me. "I think so", I reply as I added a bit more black paint here and there. Doubt still lingers.

Stay Tuned. Loving you all on Valentines Day and always.......

Kiki the Cat

"Kiki the Cat"
Watercolor on fiber paper with
some scribble paints added here and there

I fell in love with a kittie photograph that a friend of mine posted on Facebook. The expression on the face was rather unique which really appealed to me. I asked her if I could paint it so I could get some more practice in painting animals. Once I got her permission, I hunted around for some paper to paint Kiki on. I was in an experimental mood and chose some fiber paper (cream colored with bits of green fiber intermingled throughout). It looked pretty sturdy, much sturdier than rice paper so thought I'd give it a shot! I sketched the cat in lightly and then proceeded to practice with some watercolors. Mistake!!! The paper was quite porous and the water sank through the paper. It became rather hard to work with after that. I wanted to toss Kiki aside and throw it in the reject pile as failed attempt. But a part of me said "keep going" so after letting the watercolors dry, I added some scribble paints here and there. The eyes got some of the glittery scribble paint as did the nose. It's hard to see the effect here, but on the original it is more evident. My husband said the final product looked tacky with the scribble paints and I should have left it in its original form. I welcome free speech.......

I really didn't want to share the painting with my facebook friend, but decided today to e-mail it to her (for the heck of it).

Lessons: 1. Be careful when you use fiber paper as a base for watercolor
2. Sometimes a photo is just too cute and sweet to reproduce and is better
left in its original form
3. Experimentation is the only way you learn sometimes!

I think in a past life this cat lived in China (note the slanty eyes)! Though this cat is not anatomically correct, I had fun bringing it to life on paper.

Winter Holding Spring Back

"Winter Holding Spring Back"
Digital Art

You'd think that 12 years after my Mom passed away into the Heavens above, I would be able to move on. But there's something about her birthday each year that throws me for a loop. Of course, the fact that I have suppressed so many of my deep emotions during the years subsequent have not made it any easier. I numbed myself in order to cope with life, yet still felt I was sleepwalking. As I wake up to my authentic self each and every day, my emotions wake up too. I didn't think I'd be able to create during this last week or so as I worked through my grief and memories of Mom, but I did. The above creation emerged slowly, hesitantly, but it finally made its presence known.

I took a photo through a store window in downtown Frankfort. Lately I've been mesmorized by condensation and/or ice forming on glass. It makes for a rather mysterious, mystical image. A straw-like formation in the center flanked by small daisies stared out from the dark interior. I was also in a Picasso mood as I played around with some computer tools, forming small cubes that seemed to pop out. My love of Abstract came out to say Hi too. Extra lines added in represented the energy of Spring chomping at the bits, waiting behind Winter for its turn, imprisoned for another month or so. Thus the title. For a little while, as I created, I floated above my grief and connected with something else. A bliss danced with me and I forgot the sadness.

They say time eases the pain of those we have lost. Yes, it has, but its the birthdays and holidays that still hit some raw emotion. But Spring will be here soon and I will remember Mom in the flowers blooming and the birds chirping. For then I know that she is all around me and really has not ever left my side......For me, that is reassuring!

The Light From Within

"The Light From Within"
Digital Art

The images from Haiti flashing across the TV screen lately have twisted my heart and stomach into knots. To alleviate some of this internal discomfort, I decided to turn to creativity, many times a savior in my life. I must admit some of my most emotional pieces have come when I am in the midst of crisis of some sort. After my parents passed on, I did a series of about 8 paintings or so reflecting my grief. While we were at the Cemetary for my mom's burial, I took out my camera and began taking photos of the Springtime buds on the trees. For a little while that day, my grief dissolved a little. The Apple Blossoms were so gorgeous that day. And now, the Haiti earthquake has evoked emotional tremors within myself and again, I reach for art to soothe myself.

Yet, I feel sad. I so love and feel passion for my creative spirit but it never seems like enough. I want to help others even more in some way. To heal them, transform them, make their hurts go away. And still I stop myself. Why, why, why? Just some conflict I need to process.....

The above image is a melding of three images. The background is of a blurry sunset sky image of peaches and blues. The figure on the left is a statue (I believe of the Virgin Mary) that I took over at St. Francis of the Woods. A beautiful place to retreat to, by the way. The figure on the right is a woman I had painted many moons ago and then played around with in photoshop. If you look closely enough, you can see some stained glass fragments nestled in there. Stained glass, a symbol of churches to me anyway, that gives me spiritual solace. I faded the figures a bit to give more of a dreamy, almost surreal feel to them. Maybe too, the effect is otherworldly, as that is how I feel about Haiti, like it's not happening, but it is of course. Someone commented on the image above and said she could feel much emotion, tinged with sadness. And yes, I feel sad, helpless that I cannot do more, give someone over there a hug, let them have a shoulder to cry on.....

I felt quite spiritual when I created this image yesterday. My emotions were pretty strong. And they have stayed strong. I think I have really stirred them up and they are not going away. I think that's why I stopped creating for a few years. The emotions got so intense I just couldn't handle them anymore. Yet, I must remember how good it feels to release them, to not hold them. I hope I am different now. I hope I can handle them now. Because if I don't create, I am empty.

Sending Blessings to Haiti. For now, that is all I can do! P.S. Am I losing it or what? I seem to see an image of a Haitian man? (face and torso) nestled between the two women. Does anyone else see him?

So Many Eyes I Can See With

"So Many Eyes I Can See With"
Watercolor/Digital Art

Newest creation unveiled. I was looking at several books on how to paint peacocks. I had a pretty decent photo of the bird with his feathers all spread out, which appealed to me. There is something about feathers that open up in all their glory. (Symbolically, opening up ourselves and letting all our gifts unfold to the universe). One of the artists from his book said to draw all the lines (for the back tail feathers) with a ruler. I did as he said, then redrew the lines on the computer free form. I love the ideas of others, but guess I still like to do my own thing. Need to keep that unique stamp!
I pooped out on making the many eyes on the feathers, so decided to just do a few and leave the rest to the viewer to fill in. They can always be added later, if I so choose! I also brightened up the four "eyes" because I felt like there was deeper meaning there that I wanted to present. (Window to the Soul, for example). I'm not sure if I like the title, but for now it seems to fit my present mood. My only regret is that I didn't make this painting bigger (it's about 8"x10" or so); those tail feathers might have looked more impressive in a bigger format. Next time!
Finally, I looked up the meaning of the peacock on the internet and got this:

Contemplate the powers of the Peacock when you need more vibrancy and vitality in your experience. The Peacock can also help you on your spiritual Path, and breath new life into your walk of faith.

The Peacock can rejuvenate self-esteem levels too. If you’re feeling “blah” and blue, imagine the glorious, techno-color display the Peacock provides. This puts us in a proper mood to embrace your own nobility. In no time, you’ll be walking tall and proud as a Peacock too!

PEACOCK symbolism: astral body consciousness - inward immersion - point of transformation - outward expression integration - purification - transmutation

All good deeper meaning kind of words which made me happy I had chosen the peacock as my next creation to paint! My rather "blah" feeling lately seemed to disappear when I let the paints fly! Note to Bev: KEEP CREATING!

A new painting to add to my bird menagerie. I hope all the chirping won't disturb the neighbors!

Sharing Gifts is Timeless

"Sharing Gifts Is Timeless"
Digital Photograph
by Beverly Bronson

I hope I never lose my creative spark. For heaven's sake, it has taken much of my life to reconnect with, and embrace, this vital part of me. Peeling away the layers, so many layers to get to that gold. These three men, singing joyfully, are a reminder that age is not a barrier to that which we cherish and have a passion for.

Yes, as I stare at the image above, I am transported back to that day when three angels serenaded me during an Art Fair held during October. Though the weather was certainly chilly, my heart was warmed by their voices. The impact these gents left on me was, and still is, to this day, amazing. Memories like this sustain me on my path.........when I falter and forget who I really am!