Thursday, September 30, 2010

"Angels Amongst Us"


"Angels Among Us"
Watercolor

I was at a resume writing workshop last night at our local library. During a break, a woman who had attended the same college as myself and knew many of the same professors, struck up a conversation. When I told her I liked to paint, she said "that she knew I was an artist, don't take this the wrong way, but you look like an artist." I took her words in, thanked her and later mulled on what she had said.
Yes, I was wearing jeans, a sweatshirt and some beady necklaces last night, so physically I might have looked the artist part. But this woman also said she "felt" I was an artist, she could feel it coming from me. And I realize as I accept myself more, it becomes evident to others as well.
This is a good thing because as I learn to write resumes, apply for jobs and go to job fairs, I wonder if the art side of me disappears for awhile so I can be this "job seeker", this adult.But why do we have to shift to this adult role? Why can't we be childlike in everything we do, looking at all of life with wonder-filled eyes? Something I'm trying to incorporate into my daily life. No, the child sense of me can still be there; it does not have to take a time-out and disappear for awhile so the adult me can take over. My adult/parent self takes my child self's hand and we walk together moment by moment no matter what we are doing. Not abandoning one another, not thinking less of the others but realizing these are all vital parts of my whole self. Loving myself, that's Number 1, of course.
I do believe in angels and feel their presence in the human forms around me, like the lady last night. And then I remember another woman, recently, at an employment office, who said to Frank, don't be so hard on her, when I was filling out some documents and got frazzled. I looked at her gratefully and gave her a hug. Another angel. And of course all of you who continue to support and sustain me and check in with me, well you're all angels too.
These "spiritual" presences help me as I continue on my path. To not waver, to stay true to myself and put one foot in front of another. And of course, my heart is a beacon of light showing me the way as well. I am never alone and this is reassuring.



3 comments:

Elena said...

Sometimes it feels as if you're balanced on your toe at the tip of a needle doesn't it? But having come from the corporate droning I can say you can still hold on to that child self. I didn't think I was but it turns out I did in little instances. You can still allow yourself to laugh, have fun, make connections, create. Don't worry that you'll shut down because you have already grown too big to ever allow your wings to be clipped. Look at the job as a life-necessity that will finance your true love-art. Approach it with an open heart. Hugs dear Bev.

John said...

Hi Bev,
I´m with Elena, the child side, the innocence is so important, trying not to get cynical with the adult side. Being true to yourself. Well done.

Doris said...

I'm so pleased that you see angels! Usually only children see them!