Sunday, February 14, 2010

Where's my Heart?

"Where's My Heart?"
Digital Art

With life (and some fear emotions) getting in my way, my heart and art went down under for awhile. (To Australia to see Uta? Maybe). Yes, when I'm in these moods, I want to run far away or sink deep within myself. Last night, watching the Olympics, I thought, "let's move to Vancouver. It's so beautiful." My partner says "Beautiful, but too cold..... Still, the possibilities are there. Don't have much holding me back here. That's how I feel when I get down in the dumps. The last few days, though, I've been in recovery mode and am beginning to see the light again. Walking through the fear, taking actions somehow lessens the turbulence I feel. New opportunities are a possibility in the near future. In the past, "what's the use" was my mantra. I'm tired of this albatross. Now I say "I want to live again, feel the passion". And I want to trust and believe in my process.

My inner child was happy making this piece with me today. She liked the bright colors while I seemed determined to keep a bit of black adorning the image. My psychology/deep inner self scanned the image after I completed it. I like to do this, it gives more meaing to what I create, more connection personally to me. I think the black represents me mourning some parts of me dying away which seemed a necessary process. There's a rainbow tool I used, a computer element that made the rainbow circles on the black. There is a light at the end of the rainbow, my art proclaims to me. Yes, rebirth, new beginnings, transformation all making their presence known too. I'm paying attention to my inner child and responding to her needs again. I feel her tentatively dancing inside of me, ready to spring loose. "Is it safe yet to come out" she whispers to me. "I think so", I reply as I added a bit more black paint here and there. Doubt still lingers.

Stay Tuned. Loving you all on Valentines Day and always.......


Marjorie said...

I get down too and my comment is always "who cares" -but then we surface again and gain our ground and try to get back to normal, whatever that is! Glad you're doing better...missed you!

Doris said...

I really enjoy this piece, and am watching for you to emerge from dark hibernation soon. The days are getting longer and warmer. I saw whistlepig run across the road this week!

april said...

Oh my gosh! What a beautiful valentine! Wish you would have made copies for the party and been there! Yes, your rainbow is strong here.

Elena said...

What a beautiful happy piece. As soon as I saw it, and before I read your post, I knew you were feeling better. Stay strong my friend.

Jean said...

Hi Beverly!
I hope that this week has been going better for you. I, too, have been hitting some slumps lately. I pushed myself to join the CCS ATC swap to at least do some creating!

I will send warm and healing thoughts your way!! Here's to spring!!

Jean :)