Saturday, January 23, 2010

Winter Holding Spring Back


"Winter Holding Spring Back"
Digital Art

You'd think that 12 years after my Mom passed away into the Heavens above, I would be able to move on. But there's something about her birthday each year that throws me for a loop. Of course, the fact that I have suppressed so many of my deep emotions during the years subsequent have not made it any easier. I numbed myself in order to cope with life, yet still felt I was sleepwalking. As I wake up to my authentic self each and every day, my emotions wake up too. I didn't think I'd be able to create during this last week or so as I worked through my grief and memories of Mom, but I did. The above creation emerged slowly, hesitantly, but it finally made its presence known.

I took a photo through a store window in downtown Frankfort. Lately I've been mesmorized by condensation and/or ice forming on glass. It makes for a rather mysterious, mystical image. A straw-like formation in the center flanked by small daisies stared out from the dark interior. I was also in a Picasso mood as I played around with some computer tools, forming small cubes that seemed to pop out. My love of Abstract came out to say Hi too. Extra lines added in represented the energy of Spring chomping at the bits, waiting behind Winter for its turn, imprisoned for another month or so. Thus the title. For a little while, as I created, I floated above my grief and connected with something else. A bliss danced with me and I forgot the sadness.

They say time eases the pain of those we have lost. Yes, it has, but its the birthdays and holidays that still hit some raw emotion. But Spring will be here soon and I will remember Mom in the flowers blooming and the birds chirping. For then I know that she is all around me and really has not ever left my side......For me, that is reassuring!

17 comments:

Carol Anne Strange said...

A lovely, vibrant work, Bev, and a moving post. Our loved ones who have passed are never really far. Here's sending you all good wishes and love. x

Laura said...

Sorry you are having to relive some emotional stuff but so happy you have had that experience with your mother to have such an impact on you now... it sounds like the more it hurts the stronger the love you had.. be grateful so in to the loving attitude will carry you.

Robin said...

Beautiful artwork Bev!! So much meaning. And I love what Laura said about the more it hurts, the stronger the love--sooooo true. After my dad died I realized that my tears were the price I had to pay for having loved and been loved so well. Now the same goes for my mom. I think I know some of what you are feeling---many years can pass and the pain is still there. Sometimes close to the surface, sometimes not. To feel that pain is part of being alive. So we just have to be thankful!!!

butterfly woman said...

Thanks for the inspiring comments! Your words help me see my emotions in a different light, a better light. "The more it hurts, the stronger the love"...sounds so healing! Could be applicable to creativity, too. There's gold in the pain and pain in the gold, but the path to growth entails dealing with all of who I am. Oh that's right, I bought a lottery ticket Mega Millions in Mom's memory (she bought lotto tickets daily) so better check it out.......Fingers crossed!

Suz said...

quite stunning!
I see Ressurection of the spirit

Doris said...

It's a fantastic piece. Resurrection. I hit those raw nerves routinely and the pain wells tears that wash the dust off the beautiful memories.

butterfly woman said...

I love the idea of Resurrection in this piece and in myself too. More and more I feel the spirit clamoring within as I create.
As I look at the image again, I see the goldenness of Spirit shining bright and the squares in front a ladder of some sort.(Me climbing into the depths of my spirit?). How interesting the feelings fluctuate daily!
P.S.
Always love the interpretations of others.It illuminates me, showing me things I'm not thinking of! Ah, the wonder of sharing here......

Elena said...

Bev what a beautiful piece. You most definitely connected to your mom; a hand on the shoulder reminding you she watches over. And very interesting that you are drawn to the condensation that has been inspiring your latest works. A melting/metamorphosis of sorts that seems to be what your emotional being is going through.

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