Friday, November 6, 2009

"Parrot Phoenix"

"Parrot Phoenix"

So a few hours ago I was grumbling and in a down mood. The arts and crafts fair does not have any openings for the weekend. It is totally full. Now this tantalizes me. It must be a good fair if it is full, the economy is turning around, people can afford to exhibit in these fairs. All the more reason for me to call again today to see if there were any cancellations and there weren't. She said to me "you must feel like you're on standby". Hm, I guess that's a nice way of putting it. Well I did wait till the last minute to submit my application. I was not sure if I wanted to be in another primarily craft fair after my last experience two weeks ago. During that 4 day event, I felt like a fish out of water. My work is art pure and simple. On the bright side, I suppose it stands out from the crafts. But that is not always a good thing when people are looking for crafts (esp. Christmas oriented). So this is how I justify my feelings of rejection today. Still, I want to keep pushing myself and had hoped this upcoming fair would give me a little extra cash and maybe some exposure to the public. So I pouted for awhile this morning, felt sorry for myself, wondered how anyone could reject my application and stewed and stewed some more. Then I heard something squawking at me, or so I thought. Oh, yes, the cockatoo, he wanted me to paint him and was trying to snap me out of my could care less attitude.

So I went over to the computer and began looking at the cockatoo photos. My blog post from yesterday shows the beautiful bird smooching with its owner. Still in a venting mood, I quickly began sketching a side profile of one of the cockatoo close-up photos. Pencil lines were swirling in a crazy manner. I had laid out my soft blue and orange watercolors, figuring I'd keep it on the pastel, monochromatic side. Calm colors to soothe me, to temper my crankiness. Well, those other tubes were jostling for position too so the next thing I knew I began painting the heck out of the bird. And it got pretty colorful.Sure, while I was painting, I was wishing that the "real bird" was posing for me. But would it have stayed in such perfect repose as a photograph allows it to? Photographs can also flatten an image, and compromise the dimensional effect of the subject. See, I was still wishing for more, not willing to content myself with what I had at hand! On the bright side, I did not feel the need to touch the bird up with photoshop paint tools. An accomplishment for me, yahoo! It looks more like a parrot now and less like a cockatoo, in my opinion. And in my metaphorical/ deeper symbolism mind, the bird looks to be rising out of the ashes, like the phoenix. Like me rising out of my miserable mood.

I do feel a little better now. Creativity usually does the trick in restoring my mood to one of a more positive nature. Is my crabbiness revealed in the parrot painting? Well, some of the red-orange colors drip like blood and there seems to be a scar on its face and body. A little of my dark mood released, I suppose. That happens sometimes, where my mood is transferred and released to my creation. I suppose that's why we as artists feel such a personal connection to our paintings, etc, as we do not hold back on our heart, soul and feelings during the process.

Be patient, parrot. ( I guess I could call you Carrot or Pockatoo to depict your two bird forms). No, at the moment, Parrot Phoenix will do. You are too pretty to hide. When I find the right venue to display you, you will be able to strut your feathers. In the meantime, shine here on the blog. And thank you too, for bringing a little sunshine into my life today! My mood is arising out of the ashes!


Suz said...

That is a very good name for him!
lovely bird rising
It wasn't a rejection at all....
it was a notification that they were full....that's all
and now you have a beautiful piece of artwork for the next show

butterfly woman said...

Thanks Suz for your positive words. Sometimes I take things personally and get down on myself, ready to throw in the creative towel! Those are the times when my belief in myself is shaky.This morning I felt fragile, for some reason and I kept playing negative tapes in my mind.
And yes, the fair is full, that's the way it is, good luck to the exhibitors and now I move on to see what doors open next for me!The weather is supposed to be great this weekend so may stop out at Morton Arboretum or Botanic with my trusty camera!Always can use more subject matter to paint!

Suz said...

Oh don't you dare throw in that towel!

If I said'd be at MY door!

beautiful day for pictures
look for shoes!!

Elena said...

Very nice

Doris said...

Wondering what our parrot friend can mimic?